I Gush About Sweet Acidophilus Milk

Y’all, we have this thing down here–Sweet Acidophilus milk–that makes me so happy I just about can’t stand it. Purity makes it and it is good (and, supposedly, cures cold sores). Purity also drives around town in these cute black and white cow colored trucks, which I also love, because I am a dork.

So, anyway, sweet acidophilus milk. Before I moved down here, I had never heard of it. I drank 2% like the rest of fat America and was happy. I found 1% and skim to be watery and tasteless and a cruel trick our mom played on us when she didn’t have time to get to the store and made us drink “her” milk.

But sweet acidophilus. . . it’s not sweet. I don’t know what acidophilus is, maybe it’s rendered baby fat; I don’t care. The thing is that it tastes good. I can’t remember the last time I had a glass of milk just because, but last night, I did and thought, damn, I’m glad I moved down here and learned about this shit.

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6 thoughts on “I Gush About Sweet Acidophilus Milk

  1. I will tell you what it is (you know how I hate uncertainty so I had to go look it up). This is from a Disney webpage that was linked from the purity milk products page (so you know this is hard core authoritative information), but it is a bacteria called lactobacillus acidophilus that is in the milk. According to the purity page, it also prevents kidney stones and yeast infections.

    I’m having diet coke with lunch because it keeps me awake and I like the sweet chemical taste – SuperGenius

  2. Kidney stones, yeast infections, AND cold sores?! I’m starting to feel like this is less a milk and more a miracle cure.

    Snake oil for the Tiny Cat Pants set…

  3. Do you all remember how back in 1983, when the Police came out with that record, “Synchronicty” and every hack rock critic in the country started off reviews with the dictionary definition of the word, and then suddenly you noticed the word itself was everywhere, and thus a perfect example of its own meaning?

    So, last night, I’m in the Tin Can Tavern, a new bar in my neck of the woods, with my wife and a friend. The bar is proud of the fact that it has 50 different brands of beer available in cans, which isn’t enough to make me happy, since even my beloved Newcastle, which it turns out is one of the 50, tastes like wet aluminum when imbibed from such a source. But, when I switched to Fat Tire drafts served in jars like country restaurants like to put ice tea in, I was pretty darn happy.

    Anyway, my wife, who normally doesn’t touch beer because it upsets her stomach, told us she had taken Acidophilus & Probiotic Complex pills before we left home just so she could partake of this new place’s specialty.

    And, now, now I again see this word which I had never heard before last night, and I fully expect it to be everywhere I turn in the next few weeks. Heck, Sting may have a title for his next album.

  4. Beer in a can is now something special? What is this world coming to? Pretty soon, it’s going to be a priviledge to use a dirty toilet and folks are going to line up in front of my house for the priviledge of sharing my bathroom with my dog.

    As for the synchonicity of “acidophilus,” that’s pretty funny. I’d love to hear it in a Sting song, but I’m not sure what rhymes with it–aweful puss, all of us… I don’t know.

  5. Acidophilus milk is simply cow’s milk with the lactobacillus acidophilus bacteria added to it. It still contains the same amount of lactose & milk proteins. It can be used as a probiotic and may reduce vaginal yeast infections, GI dysfunction and even boost the immune function. This milk is rec’d for people with bowel problems because it changes bacteria in the stomach and intestines.

    Probiotic: adding a microoorganism in the body for health benefits.

    :)

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