Return of "Hermaphrodite Porn"

Posted on September 14, 2005 by Aunt B.

So, my dad’s side of the family all resides in a small, but famous Midwestern city, famous enough that I’m willing to bet that you all have one of its products in your kitchen right now.

None of them know or can ever know about Tiny Cat Pants.

And yet, on sitemeter, I just saw the name of said city.

“Oh, fuck,” I thought. “Is the John H. of the comments actually the John H. that is related to me?”

But, no, thank god, it’s just some idiot looking for hermaphrodite porn.

[edited to better clarify: I have a cousin named John H. He lives in a small city full of my other family members. When I saw said city appear on the site meter, I suddenly thought "Oh, fuck, what if the John H. of the comments is my cousin John?" But then I looked more in-depth and the person from this small city was just looking for hermaphrodite porn. It still could be a relative of mine, but our John H. is not my John H., and our John H. has no interest in scouring Tiny Cat Pants for traces of hermaphrodite porn.]

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8 Responses

  1. Kat Coble, on September 14th, 2005 at 11:12 pm Said:

    You’re from Whirlpool?!?

  2. the Professor, on September 14th, 2005 at 11:30 pm Said:

    now you’ll rank even higher on search results because you keep typing “hermaphrodite porn”

    do you think they follow the link because they think there’ll be some zoophilia here at tiny CAT pants too?

    that’s right, come for the hermaphrodite porn and beastiality, stay for Aunt B.

  3. John H, on September 15th, 2005 at 12:09 am Said:

    hi, i’m John H(utcheson), and I may be an idiot, but I’m not sure about the hermaphradite porn bit. I enjoy your site, but I’m hope I’m being confused with some other John H.

    I’m also at TUIB…

    thanks.

  4. Taketoshi, on September 15th, 2005 at 1:14 am Said:

    am i the only one that thinks ruling out relatives based on this john H. person looking for hermaphrodite porn is a bit hasty?

    maybe that says too much about my home life…

  5. Aunt B, on September 15th, 2005 at 2:01 am Said:

    Oh, John, I feel like I’ve done you wrong. I’ve tried to clarify, but I’m afraid you’ve been forever wronged. Now I almost wish it were my cousin looking for porn and finding me instead.

  6. John H, on September 15th, 2005 at 3:43 am Said:

    hey, no problem. Given the panic of both thinking you had a cousin scouring for kinky porn AND thinking your family had discovered your blog world, I’m pretty sure I’d be pretty freaked out.

    I felt compelled to unfetter my name from the quest for hermaphrodite porn, but you’ve cleared it up and I remain..

    your fan, JH

  7. Taketoshi, on September 15th, 2005 at 6:22 am Said:

    this ending was entirely too undramatic.

    WE DEMAND GREATER NUMBERS OF HERMAPHRODITE PORN SEEKERS

  8. John H, on September 15th, 2005 at 9:27 am Said:

    hey, apparently there is another JH out there looking for herm-porn, and you never know, he might be a civilly disobedient herm-porn looking for a fight..

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