Dear Mr. Abramson,
I am so outraged at this latest turn of events, I cannot even bring myself to type your first name. Here’s how things work here in America. I make fun of Kleinheider; Kleinheider plots my gruesome demise (lately, I suspect he’s been planning to beat me to death with Pat Buchanan. Just think about that. Beat to death with Pat Buchanan. That’s not going to be a fun way to go. No. That’s going to suck. But I await that day knowing that my death at the hands of Buchanan at the hands of Kleinheider will have been for a good cause.).
Why? Because Kleinheider and I agree on very little. Check out this actual* conversation from last night:
Me: Hey, Kleinheider. I think there’s a rainbow.
Kleinheider: No, there’s not.
Me: Yeah, look over there.
Kleinheider: Is this some trick to get me to look at a Gay Pride Parade?
Me: No, there in the sky is a rainbow.
Kleinheider: I wouldn’t believe there was a rainbow in the sky if I could see it with my own eyes if you said there was one.
Me: But you can see it with your own eyes.
Kleinheider: Nice try, pervert.
And yet you have written a post (this one) which Kleinheider then responded to (here) with which I agree. Yes, for the most part, I agree with Kleinheider in opposition to you. Do you know what that does to a girl? To find herself in agreement with Kleinheider?
Is this revenge for me picking on him so mercilessly last night?
Now I have to sit here and say, “Well, Abramson, actually, you are wrong and Kleinheider is right.”? I have to say “Kleinheider is right”?!
Is there no justice in this world? Good god.
Anyway, you make this claim so nonsensical that I had to lay down on the floor in order to recover from the ridiculousness of it:
As a general rule, Americans do not hate rich people. Most Americans do
not look at a rich person and say “Well, what a rich a**hole! I hate
that guy!” Rather, most Americans look at a rich person and assume that
he or she must know what he or she is doing to have gotten so rich.
Oh, sweet, naive Abramson. Where to start?
First, let’s interview a poor person:
Me: Self, do you have an irrational hatred of rich people that you are often embarrassed about because it seems like such a lame and stupid irrational hatred to have?
Me: Yes. But I’m trying to be better about it.
Then let us turn to that case-study in class relations, MTV. Have you never heard of this incredibly popular show, My Super Sweet Sixteen? The whole point of said show is for poor people to watch it and mock, mock, mock the rich people portrayed on there. The whole point is to look at those people and say “What an asshole, I hate that girl.”
Do Americans appreciate folks who pick themselves up by their bootstraps and make something of themselves?
Do we live in a country where most everyone assumes that such is the life story of most rich people?
No we don’t.
Why do you think it’s so incredibly important for rap artists to “keep it real.” It’s important for them to prove to their audience that being rich hasn’t changed them, because if they are perceived as regular guys who did good, they will have record sales. If they are perceived as rich, spoiled brats, they will not.
If you think there’s no class resentment in this country, you’ve lived a very lucky life to have missed out on it.
Aunt “Power to the People” B.
*Of course, I mean “actual” in the Republican sense, in that it didn’t really happen, but it could have, thus proving that we are better off without habeas corpus.