In Which I Ask a Question that Ruins Any Street Cred I Had

Was Aaliyah really nice or something?  Because I swear, based solely on her ability to whisper her way through whole albums of material, I don’t understand why she was famous.

Do We Have a Feminist Equivalent of the Bat Signal?

If we don’t, perhaps we should consider one.  Then I could signal all y’all Nashville feminists to run to the grocery store and pick up some food for my favorite lil’ feminist indoctrination camp. For, as it stands now, sixteen girls between the ages of 12 and 17 are about to start camp and no [...]

Other Places

–The Recovering Baptist is in love, and who can blame her?  We Midwesterners are hard to resist. –Bridgett‘s talking bad covers. –Speaking of bad covers, Coble‘s got some brilliant publishing industry ideas. Meanwhile, here’s what I’m mulling over (which you Midwesterners will also find HILARIOUS [yes, so hilarious that I have to shout]): Mack is [...]

I Love My Car

Y’all, I owe Mack literally one point three trillion dollars.  If I’d had to buy this car without him, well, I just couldn’t have done it and I would have been crying.  His help was invaluable. He was all making the salesman drive him around town and sitting in his chair and eating his popcorn [...]

New Car!

Hey, Cool!

Mark, if you and Ron are looking for someone to review music everyone else heard about forty years ago, you know where to find me!

The Down Side of Fretting

So, I laid in bed fretting about all this car shit, even though I’ve tried my damnedest to delegate the fretting to others, trying to decide if I was going to sleep or just throw up or make a list of all the shit I had to check to see if the Butcher did. For [...]

The 2002 Dodge Stratus

Tonight may be the last night I spend with my car.  Tomorrow might be the last morning I drive it. You’d think that, after this month, I’d be glad to be done with it. And… and I am. But I also feel a little sad. Okay, well, here’s hoping the next car is better.

Now is the Time, Terry Frank!

I admit, I often don’t understand what gets conservatives all up in arms.  Today, for instance, they’re riding Kleinheider’s butt because he called our troops “pawns” and also said that they have honorable professions. Somehow, to the conservatives, “pawns” is such a grave insult that it outweighs the compliments he paid our armed forces and Terry [...]

Take Me to the Water

I can remember when I first heard “Down to the River to Pray.”  I’d just gotten that year’s Oxford American music issue and I was driving home from work, back when we lived way far south, and it came on–I think it was the last song on the CD–and I had to pull the car [...]

Frank Cooter Talk

In general, I don’t have a problem with porn.  Porn stars, to me, seem like the equivalent of gymnasts.  Yes, they’re women.  Yes, I have those basic body parts, but if you think I’m going to be able to bend and stretch and balance mine like that, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, on you. Do [...]

Rosemary

I know I’ve said this before but I can’t even begin to tell you how much I love the smell of rosemary.  I would be unable to remove myself from a man who smelled like that. I was looking in my Materia Magica this morning, as I had planned to go out and collect clover, [...]

A Thousand Words

Chris Wage took this picture of John H., which I am so madly in love with I had to steal it and post it here. Don’t you look at this and immediately want to know him?  Know about him?  Doesn’t he look holy?  I love this picture. I hate looking at pictures of myself.  I’m [...]

The Butcher is Back!

Hurray!  He’s going to go to Carmax with me tomorrow. 

I Have Damn Fine Readers

Not only are y’all some of the cutest people I’ve ever hung out in a bar with, you’re so damn sweet and have such big hearts. It’s funny, you know, that in my spiritual life, I try to understand myself as a part of a community, something larger and more holy than me, and I [...]

Why You Should Buy Me a Drink Tonight

1.  I’m running late to my own party and am about to have a heart attack because of it. 2.  The building where my car was parked was not unlocked after the thing today you fucking liar, liar, pants on fire and I had to haul all my boxes around the side of the building [...]

The Recalcitrant Brother Saves Me From Making a Fool of Myself

Too bad for Springfield, Illinois.  I was just getting ready to get on here and apologize to you for regularly making fun of the fact that you were terrorized by a pack of feral pigs in the 1800s. Seriously, my thinking has been, you didn’t have fifty guys with guns in your town who could [...]

The Surprise Gun Nut

Fifty-aught.  Twenty-two.  Shotgun.  Shotgun.  The surprise gun nut rattles off makes and models like the Universe is refreshed by the recitation of facts in an orderly fashion. Who knows? Maybe it is. I say, “What do you need so many for?” And you claim that each gun serves a different purpose.  One for deer.  One [...]

The Most Glorious Nap Ever

The green couch continues to be the perfect place to take naps.  It’s deep and soft and practically demands you just let your eyes shut. And so I came home, settled into the green couch, shut my eyes and damn. Sadly, I woke up to R. Kelly talking about how he’s a flirt.  As usual, [...]

Famous Spouses

So, I’m standing at this table of books this morning and this man comes up and says two things: 1. I’m NM’s husband. 2.  This book right behind you contains the story of how we met. I don’t know.  It was just kind of weird and cool and crazy.

Come Home, Butcher!

Okay, the fact is that I’m terribly lonely without the Butcher and wish he would come home this very instant. Yes, his idea of keeping the house clean is to keep a walkable path from the couch to the television.  Yes, there’s a pile of laundry on the couch that looks like someone might have [...]

An Evening with the Sisters I Love

So, Plimco, Dr. J. and the Queen (and her man) and I went to The Sounds game.  They beat Memphis, for those of you who give a shit. God, I love that family.  Plimco and I talked all about all y’all.  One of you was voted most amazingly and surprisingly good looking.  One of you [...]

In Which I Remake The Defiant Ones

Instead of Sidney Poitier and Tony Curtis, I was thinking Magniloquence and Stacey Campfield.  I hate to do that to Mag, but dang, Campfield needs to be handcuffed to someone who is willing to slap him upside the head every now and again. Today, Campfield is, I guess, pretending to protect us from The Black [...]

In Which I Complete Another Meme

1. Add a direct link to your post below the name of the person who tagged you. Include the city/state and country you’re in. Nicole (Sydney, Australia) velverse (Kuala Lumpur, Malaysia) LB (San Giovanni in Marignano, Italy) Selba (Jakarta, Indonesia) Olivia (London, England) ML (Utah, USA) Lotus (Toronto, Canada) tanabata (Saitama, Japan) Andi (Dallas [ish], [...]

The Infamous Skirt

We finished most of the work on Supermousey’s skirt on my birthday.  Her mom had to help her with some of the final detailing, but she was a good sport about it.  Thanks, Supermousey’s mom! One unfortunate side-effect of said skirt making is that they’ve apparently gone ahead and taught Supermousey to iron.  While this [...]