Further Clinton Anxiety

I caught Bill Clinton this morning talking about what his role in a Hillary administration would be and my concern about the advisability of this for the health of our country continues. I just don’t believe it’s good for us to have power pass back and forth between two families. Bill tried to convince America [...]

Fat, Fat, Fat

So, Monday is my doctor’s appointment.  I haven’t been to the doctor in about five years–not since the dreadful illness and the gynocologist who told me that god doesn’t want fat women to have babies because they cannot protect their children from angry elephants. I know. Anyway, I was sitting at the lawyer’s office earlier [...]

In Cat Heaven, I Bet There’s a Lot of Surliness

A moment of silence for Mr. Otto.  So sorry, Rachel.

Ned Williams is My Favorite White Person

America, did you ever read something right before you went to bed and find yourself waking up in the middle of the night by the sound of someone laughing only to realize that, even in your sleep, you’re still tickled? That happened to me last night. Witness post A. from Ned Williams in which he [...]

In Which I Solve the Insurance Crisis

Okay, here’s what we’re going to do about insurance: nobody gets it.  Nope, not even rich people.  No one gets health insurance. Instead, you buy from me a necklace with ten special beads on it (which will cost you $250).  You rub the beads against the body part that ails you for nine days, while [...]

The Cranes

I have a hard time keeping the Cranes separate in my head.  Both were poets, both died young.  But one was gay and wrote long poems designed to put T.S. Eliot in his place and the other was the son of a Methodist minister and who married a brothel keeper and who wrote short, easy to [...]

Childbirth Porn

The thing that most disturbs me about the search terms that bring folks here is imagining that there’s somebody out there looking for “tiny girls fucking” or “I want to fuck my nephew” and, as they’re in the midst of that search, they see Tiny Cat Pants and decide that they need to set aside [...]

Comcast, Schto Eta?

On Comcast’s “Sounds of the Seasons,” I’m listening to a lot of polkas.  Is September a notoriously popular month for polkaing?

Oh, Smooches *sigh*

Here, in no particular order, are some of my favorite smooches.  –I like the smooch where there’s no question it’s going to happen.  The smoocher is standing full on in front of the smoochee with that smooching grin on his/her face.  Bot smoocher and smoochee lean in at the same time and soft lips brush [...]

Did You Know Chappy’s is Open For Lunch?

Well, it is. By the way, if you boys are wondering why we go to the bathroom in groups, it’s so that we can talk about you and so that we can have hot trysts with each other if we have become sure, over the course of dinner, that you guys aren’t going to get [...]

In Defense of Kleinheider

Dear Gwen Kinsey: With all due respect, you are completely and utterly wrong. So wrong that reading your take on Kleinheider causes me to shudder in fear.  So wrong that it makes me fear that you don’t know how to recognize your assets nor how to correctly value them. Let’s just start with this little [...]

A Ring for My Finger, but No Bells for My Toes… yet

My grandma sent me one of her mother’s rings, a ring she wore because she thought it matched her eyes and my grandmother thought it would be fitting for me to have it, because it matches my eyes. Dear readers, what do you know about jewelry?  I know nothing.  So, I took a couple of [...]

Troubles and Trials

When they released the recalcitrant brother from jail, it was both the climax of a long day involving travel, bank harrassing, money order buying, marriage suggesting, lawyer meeting, and fine paying and kind of anti-climactic. He just walked through a door, slighly disheveled, five-days’ growth of beard, and shirt untucked, looking like himself, if slightly [...]

Georgia Update

Y’all I am just fried.  I can’t really think about anything but this stuff and I kind of can’t bear to think about it.  My dad is going to my nephew’s great grandfather’s funeral with my brother this afternoon.  I’m going to try to find a place to do some work. Here’s the creepy ex-courthouse [...]

Free

My Grandma Puts a Price on My Mom

My mom called to have a good cry about my brother, and to tell me that my nephew’s great grandfather died last night.  Poor oldest nephew.  Damn. We finally moved on to happier things, such as my mom helping my grandma go through her junk and finding an old receipt for the Palmer House Hotel [...]

Coersion

Both Amanda and Ampersand are talking about this small study in which sexually active young women and old girls who are in abusive relationships report that their partners also intentionally try to get them pregnant by “manipulating condom use, sabotaging birth control use and making explicit statements about wanting them to become pregnant.” I keep [...]

Adultish

This is what I’ve been thinking a lot about this weekend.  I think that, for a lot of people, it’s having kids that makes them realize that they are the adult generation now, that they’re the ones who are going to have to make decisions and be responsible, even if they feel inadiquate to the [...]

We’ll Just Use Those Guys Standing Around the Parking Lot at Home Depot

Seriously, America, is there anything you won’t ask illegal immigrants to do? I have this song on my iPod; the chorus goes, “You’ve already put big old tears in my eyes.  Must you throw dirt in my face?” We’ll let undocumented workers scrub our toilets, clean our houses, raise our kids, plant our fields, harvest [...]

Terry Frank and I Agree. I Presume Hell Has Frozen Over.

Terry Frank reports on the bizarre lengths our state goes to harrass smokers (I know, I know, that stuff is also in there, but you know riding the illegal immigrant issue is her thing, and yes, I know, she’d be more fun if riding illegal immigrants were her thing). For those of you who’ve never [...]

Happy Blogoversary to Me!

Today is the end of the third year of Tiny Cat Pants and the beginning of the fourth.  It somehow seems like it’s been longer than that–so much has happened in that time, it’s almost hard to believe. Of course, none of it would be possible without my awesome kick-ass readers, who are some of [...]

I Cannot Do Your Meme

Sometimes, you read to open your soul up to that Something so much larger and older than you, that Something that you feel like you share with everyone else who has ever curled up on a soft seat to read that book, too. And sometimes you read to escape, to give yourself a break from [...]

The Illustrated Volunteer Voters

(click for the full effect) Of course, I tease because I love.

The Hardest Part of All This

The hardest part of all this is realizing that it’s on me to be the cool, level-headed person who can make phone calls to people with actual information and to process that information and make decisions based on it. I kind of just want to throw up. Updated to add:  Argh!  Crying mommas!  No crying [...]

It’s Like I’m Psychic

Compare my take on it, just from reading the story, with the neighbor’s first-hand account. The heartbreaking line: “This poor thing never had a chance to be good.”