I, Too, Hope to Stick Around and Haunt People

Via The Wild Hunt:  “I love that story about Susan Anthony that Zsuzsanna Budapest tells in her book. Some journalist asked Susan Anthony, because she didn’t believe in orthodox religion, I suppose, “Where do you think you’re to go when you die?” She said, “I’m not going anywhere. I’m going to stay around and help [...]

I Really Want to Marry the Oxford English Dictionary

Y’all, if there’s one thing I love, it is snarkiness.  I think we all know that.  So, today, on a whim, I looked up “snark” in the OED and would you believe that it’s a word? Not just a word, but a word with a history. We see evidence of it being used to mean [...]

In Which I Increase Nashville’s Tourism Dollars

It’s too bad we hate Mexicans. Oh, I know.  We don’t really hate Mexicans.  We just hate the ones that are here illegally and, if we have to terrorize all brown people to get that point across, we will. However, if we didn’t hate Mexicans, think about how awesome this week would be. October 30 [...]

Oh, Boy(s)–A contest

Today, Mark Rose says “Feminists ostracize masculinity in men while at the same time trying to make themselves appear more masculine.” Lord knows, the evidence of my trying to make myself appear more masculine is all over this blog.  So, you know, I wondered maybe if I was just half-failing as a feminist.  Maybe, at [...]

I’m Gonna Take This Itty Bitty World by Storm

So, where were we? Ah, yes, the Butcher and I were headed off to the surgeon for the initial consult. Well, we went and I must say that I have been very, very pleased with everyone over at St. Thomas and find them all to be pleasant and professional.  This doctor was no different.  I [...]

Happy Birthday Butcher!

It’s the Butcher’s birthday.  He’s the Dead Rockstar Age.  I will, of course, be keeping him away from juke joints, swimming pools, heroin, Parisian bath tubs, and Courtney Love this year.

Apparently Being Terrified Makes Me Hot!

Two days in a row I’ve gotten compliments from people about how good I look.  Ha, I know it’s only because to read here you’d think I was hiding under my bed, gasping for air, looking like some cross between Emily Dickinson and John Keats. But it nevertheless kind of freaks me out that the [...]

After the Altar

First off, America, I ask you–have you ever seen a paw so cute?  Tucked up under her cheek so demurely?  I about can’t stand it.  And look at her nose spots!  You can practically hear her honk-shoos. Second, I took down my altar for this year without taking pictures of it.  Lucky for y’all I [...]

Random Things I Never Want to See Again as Long as I Live

I seem to recall hearing a story about a prince with two penises who spent his whole life looking for a woman with two vaginas with whom he could live happily ever after (trust me, read the post below this and it will make sense) and he never found her and so his spirit still [...]

My Nerdiness Reaches New Heights!

Okay, so I was all set to write a post that would rehash the whole Tiresias question, because I grow more and more convinced that we have it better, but then I decided that it might be a heterosexist question and I got all caught up on trying to remember Tiresias’s name to begin with [...]

Say Uncle Oppresses Me and I Missed It?!

All I can say to that is that maybe you need to be a little firmer in your oppression of me, sir!  So to speak… Ha, no, it’s very cute, the gun bloggers are all worried that linking to women in bikinis shooting guns will hurt the gun-rights campaign. I decided to interview well-known internet [...]

Brittney, I love you, man!

I realized last night that I’m almost always the one moving away and never the one moved away one and, frankly, there’s a way in which being moved away on really sucks. So, Brittney’s moving.  To San Francisco.  And turning thirty. It’s fun to watch her pout and piss and moan about turning thirty, just [...]

Just Saying

I make a mean chili.  In fact, if I knew someone who made chili as well as me, I would give her smooches whenever I saw her. You know, just so she’d be predisposed to making me chili.

Seriously “Find a Baby”?!

Bekah’s baby is my favorite online baby.  Look at that smile.  Tell me a big ole fat smiling baby doesn’t make you smile, too?

Freedom and the Alleviation of Suffering

Yesterday I watched Trudell, and I have to say that it’s had me thinking since then about just what it is that I’m working to accomplish, if anything.  I mean, what is it exactly that I want from the world, what am I working towards? I think what I want is freedom and the alleviation [...]

Something Wicked This Way Comes

Okay, this is going to be the nerdiest post I’ve ever written and I’m embarrassed to tell you that I’ve already done an hour’s worth of research on this, before turning to you for help. For folks who are not nerds, let me explain a little how this process went.  Last night, a non-nerd called [...]

Is Out & About Calling Me Fat?!

Woo Hoo!  I made Out & About, Tennessee’s finest resource for gay and lesbian stuff.  Okay, well, they may be Tennessee’s only resource for gay and lesbian stuff, but in a conservative state like this, a girl can’t be picky. Check it out: While all the pickup trucks outside town may have revved a bit [...]

Hot Kabobs

The food is delicious, inexpensive, and did I mention delicious? But here’s the thing I don’t understand, Nashville.  Why isn’t that place packed with straight men and gay women? Are there three hotter waitresses in Nashville?  In Tennessee?  In the whole world? And women-attracted folks, I would expect you to be making any excuse to [...]

One Long and Lonely Bridge

I explained it to Imfunnytoo like this the other night and I found it to actually be a metaphor that stuck with me, just because it makes sense of my predicament for me in a way that makes it seem possibly manageable. This is what it’s like. I used to be on firm ground. I [...]

When Was the Last Time We Closed Our Doors and Danced Around Our Offices Together?

It’s been too long, my friends. Far too long. As far as I’m concerned, this song is the perfect song for dancing around your office to, because, if you’re alone, you can just sit in your chair and spin back and forth to the rhythm while you’re busy typing away at whatever still lingers from [...]

Pitbulls in My Neighborhood and How I Predict They’ll Go Wrong

1.  Mrs. Wigglebottom.  After we find her and the car missing, we discover this list– Peepl I Lik Rowp-steeln man Cudle on the cowch grl Womn wth treets in panc –shortly before the police arrive to ask us about the disappearance of Mack, the Professor, and the old woman down the street. 2.  The beautiful [...]

Hmm. Well, I Guess I Was Wrong.

Y’all, I swear to god, I thought that, if any musician in town used to be a woman, it was John Rich. It’s not just that he’s small and so obviously would make a relatively attractive woman, it’s that he also seems to go to such lengths to hide his chest–the guitar or overalls or [...]

I Know! Let’s Play “Force Strippers to Turn to Prostitution in Order to Eat!”

Here’s my feelings, up-front, on all sex work (including stripping): It should be legal, it should be well-regulated in a way that is easy for the sex workers to negotiate, the regulation should not be so cost-prohibitive as to reasonably exclude anyone, and folks who don’t get in the system should be come down on [...]

All Idiots Together

The thing I hate most about going to the doctor, aside from the seemingly inevitable “God, you’re fat!” lecture (though, in all fairness to this batch of doctors, it hasn’t come up) is that doctors in Tennessee treat you like you’re an idiot. In fact, I have only ever had one doctor in Tennessee who [...]

Another Day, Another Trip to the Doctor

Well, I now know the same thing I knew last week, but with better tests. I had a moment where I needed to cry, but it passed. They’re going to cut a hole in me and make their way down to my lymph nodes and take one out and pull it apart and see what [...]