Stupid Evil Whore v. Evil Genius Whore

Lots of things annoy me about Tennessee politics, like the fact that our politicians assume that they have the right to spy on Tennessee residents in other states because, I guess, as Tennessee residents, we belong to the State and the State has a right to compel us to spend our money in-state because those tax dollars rightfully belong to the State, seeing as how we, being property of the State, make that money solely for the benefit of the State.

And some things about Tennessee politics–say, John Ford–tickle me so much it’s all I can do to not run out and get me three houses full of different wives and kids none of which are in my district just so I can run for office and leter shoot at semi-trucks.

And some things, like the fact that, when Tennessee ratified the amendment, women gained the right to vote, make me very proud.

However, one doesn’t have to be a brilliant political mind to see that neither political party really has figured out what to do with women or how to treat us when we’re around.

It’s got me thinking that, if you thought too much about it, you’d realize that the women of Tennessee have but one question to ask themseves when picking a political party with which to affiliate.  Do you want to throw your hat in with the guys who think you’re a stupid evil whore or do you want to throw your hat in with the guys who think that you’re an evil genius whore?

If you don’t mind being thought of as a stupid evil whore, you could align yourself with the party that is constantly sponsoring legislation to get you to realize that your murdering babies if you have an abortion or that is convinced that a man sexually assaulting his wife isn’t really worth pursuing and that sponsors legislation designed to make it easier for men who are divorcing their wives to “stay involved” in their wives’ lives, because lord knows we have to protect men from their stupid evil whore ex-wives.

Or you can align yourself with the party that thinks women are evil genius whores who use their feminine wiles to seduce helpless men and ruin their careers.  So powerful are the cooters of these women that men astute enough to run for office are helpless.  Their penises rise up like soldiers of fortune, obliged to no man, but determined to succumb to the evil genius whore lobbiests, regardless of how bad an idea it is.  And though so many know about the sex for legislation swap apparently going on, the powers of the evil genius whore are so great that all are helpless against her.

In her presense, no one can do the right thing.  All must either fold in her presence, do her bidding, and ignore their obligatins to the citizens of Tennessee!  They are helpless in her presense!  She is no ordinary human, but is a femme fatale.  All who are near her cooter fall under her charms and cannot help themselves but to ruin their lives and the lives of their family members!  Ooo!  Spooky.

Really, I’m disgusted with both parties.  That we even have to talk about which party is more female person as actual people who can make their own decisions and deserve to be treated as actual people than the other makes me furious.

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3 thoughts on “Stupid Evil Whore v. Evil Genius Whore

  1. That’s a wonderful dissection of the options. Personally, I’d love to be thought of as an evil genius whore, on the off chance that someone would come by and volunteer to be my minion. And wouldn’t it be great if those powers actually worked? You could flash you cooter at random passers-by and get stuff! Or wander through the halls of your local legal entity and *boom!* have things your way. Like fast food, only with legislation.

  2. Pingback: Volunteer Voters » The Stupid Party Versus The Evil Party

  3. I was thinking about this on the way in this AM. I wouldn’t have characterized it as an ideological battle, however. It just bugged me they way Littleton was pegged as a “known flirt” when that’s what lobbyists do, basically, man or woman. Ingratiating yourself to a target is part of the job. I mean, is the offer of a golfing sojourn to Florida the equivalent of a BJ to some men or what?

    Seriously, though . . . Littleton’s personal conduct is separate from her job performance. I knew Pier so the less said the better for me . . .

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