1. I made some great chicken soup yesterday.
2. Mack threw crap at me twice on Sunday and twice I was able to throw it back at him and actually hit him. And his primary wife announced that we–she and I–were going to Vegas. I can’t wait to go to Vegas with Mack’s primary wife, if only because I hear through the grapevine already the rumors about me and him and I would love to be the kind of girl with a life so scandalous that it was rumored that I was, separately, the lover of both partners in a marriage.
3. Just now, I threw a bag in the garbage from clear across the room.
4. I am King of the White Sauce. Seriously, if there’s any person without formal training who can whoop up a simple white sauce of butter, flour, and milk as well as I can, in order to pour it over chipped beef which is then spooned over toast, in order to make a meal delicious and filling and cheap as hell, I will challenge her to a duel. Throw some peas in there and it’s even vaguely good for you. From that, I can make turkey gravy, brown gravy, pepper gravy, whatever. The world is at my fingers.
5. I was ignoring my parents until my dad said, “I don’t care how convenient it is, I’m not shoving anything up my penis.” No, I have no idea. But it did break the tension that had been hanging over the van all day.
6. Plimco had a little girl with her on Sunday who was telling a ghost story about a haunted bathroom at their school and how she and her friend thought that it was probably the ghost of a girl who died in the bathroom a long time ago in a fire back when everything was made of wood–you know, 1996. When I graduated from college.