An Open Letter to the Tennessean

Dear Tennessean,

I regret to inform you that your online presence sucks so much that it about moves me to tears.  As you are aware, since it passed right over you, like it passed right over me, we had incredibly bad weather last night.

As I was flipping back and forth between the networks, watching to make sure that neither I nor the Butcher were in the line of fire, they said that I-40 was shut down for ten miles.  They said there might have been touchdowns in Fairview.

If that information is on your website, I can’t find it.  I can, however, discover how to cope with the emotional toll of the disaster and learn how to submit my own photos to your website.

May I remind you that you are a newspaper, not a social networking site?  Seriously, if people want to show the world pictures of their dogs, they can get a blog like the rest of us.  You, Sirs and Madams, should be a place where I can find out news.

I mean, for gods’ sake, I can easily find out on your website how awesome-o Brad Paisley is, but I cannot see who won the Democratic primary.

But I can go to WKRN and easily find the news that interests me.  WSMV is set up to give me all that information at a glance.  I can easily find their stories about the weather and about the primaries AND they let folks submit pictures of their dogs.

This morning you had two big stories you had to cover in your paper–the storm and the primaries.  And there on your front page, as of 7:50 a.m. is nothing about the primaries and the stuff you have about the storms is a mess. 

See, you are a newspaper and traditionally in newspapers, the most important news goes at the top of the page.  Over at WSMV, at the top of their page, I learn that there are 15 people dead from the storms in my immediate area and that Clinton won the primary.

Need I point out that, right now, at your site, the two highest stories on your page are about some people who survived the storm and the afore mentioned “how to get in touch with your storm feelings” story.

I survived the storm, too!  I have feelings!  I’m not on the front of your website.

BECAUSE THE FACT THAT I SURVIVED THE STORM AND HAVE FEELINGS IS NOT NEWS.

Gah.

In Disgust,

Aunt B.

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19 thoughts on “An Open Letter to the Tennessean

  1. B,
    I was thinking of you as I watched the storm coverage last night on the Weather Channel. My sis-in-law lives in Memphis, and I was following the coverage to see how she was doing. When I saw that the storms were headed your way as well….how scary! It sounds like you and yours made through safely. Here’s to calmer weather today!

    Awaiting the big snow….
    MOA

  2. Be careful, B. They’ll pick up your post and publish parts of it “quoting” you as an online reader.

    Good Lord, I agree completely with you. You’d think that Titanic would have sunk by now, as long as they’ve been rearranging the deck chairs.

  3. so true – I had 4 people call me from out of state to check on me last night as they had heard downtown Nashville was hit by a tornado — I clicked on the Tennessean — as usual, it was useless.

    But at least I can find out where Ms Cheap is getting her best deals…

  4. I’m in total agreement, the Tennesseean is a gigantic mess.

    I went by the Jackson Sun and The Commercial Appeal early this morning to see what was what, and wasn’t really planning to hit the Tennessean but something someone had mentioned on Twitter made me think there was something worth looking at there.

    Not only could I not find whatever it was but gosh, it was just an awful mess. Horrible.

  5. Heh. I was teasing although it has been discussed. The stereotypical perfect news photo is a small child eating a dripping ice cream cone with a puppy waiting for it to drop.

    FRONT PAGE!!!

    Hee.
    Hard news on top, fluff on the bottom…Sounds sort of sexy.

  6. True enough!

    Ha, and if it were going to run on the front of the Tennessean, it would have to be a small child eating a dripping ice cream cone while a puppy waited for it to drop with a caption reading “While some people died in the storms last night, little Sally is feeling great, because it didn’t kill her.”

  7. No, no, the caption in the Tennessean would have to be, “While some people died in the storms last night, little Sally is feeling great, because it didn’t kill her, and because she has faith that all the people who died are with Jesus now, unless they didn’t deserve to be.”

    At least, that’s what I gather from the article today about how all the students at Union have had their faith strengthened by having their campus destroyed.

  8. “While some people died in the storms last night, little Sally is feeling great, because it didn’t kill her.”

    Okay, y’all have listening devices in the newsroom, don’t you? Because I’ve actually heard a conversation similar to that there. Srsly.

    Put it this way: Joking about “But other than that, Mrs. Kennedy, what did you think of Dallas?” does not go over real big at 1100 Broadway.

  9. Glad to know I’m not the only one that has given up.

    2 versions ago, it was pretty useful. If anyone still has that code saved anywhere, reload it.

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