I Can’t Be Satisfied

I have this terrible habit of calling my friends and asking their opinion about something and then getting pissed when they give it to me.
So, I’m all mad at Mack because I called him up for advice on buying a house and he gave it to me and it involved shit that bothers me and [...]

An Open Letter to Midwesterners

My Fellow Midwesterners!
Did you know that they’ve changed the University of Missouri–Rolla to Missouri University of Science and Technology?!  How, I ask you, is a girl supposed to say “Oh, Missouri University of Science and Technology” with the same amount of smug disdain that a girl can roll “Oh, Rolla” off her tongue?  How could [...]

Pictures of Invisible Chairs

Hey, look what came via email.

I wonder if they make see-through yarn… I could totally whip my friend up a see-through afghan to go with his see-through chairs.

Two Things, Er, Three Things. Wait, four.

1.  If I ever need to give someone a look of any sort, I’m totally hiring Katie’s baby to do it.  Take a look at these pictures.  We have “I will tear your head off,” “Um, maybe you shouldn’t wear that in public,” “Is that Lee Greenwood or Ray Stevens?” and “Let us never speak [...]

Looking at Old Things

Oh, I forgot to tell you why we were at the Presbyterian church.  So, see, as you know, there’s not really a “Battle of Nashville” historic battlefield of any sort, because we put houses on it.
But the city (or maybe the state, I forget) has been given this tract of land, with a house and [...]

Our River is Beautiful. What is Wrong with Us?

Nashville, I spend a lot of time, when I can, driving aimlessly around our city looking at things and then mulling them over.  It’s my way.
And yesterday, as I was attempting to ascertain how Timothy Demonbreun got into his little cave home and looking at just the gross-ass litter I had to drive through a [...]

Hmm, If Only There Were Some Mechanism for Collecting Money from the People who Work in Your State…

Passed along from S-town Mike without comment:
In general, sports teams do not generate much, if any, local economic impact …. The reason is simple. Sports teams, and especially those in leagues that play weekday evening games, attract insufficient “new money” into an area to overcome the large leakages created by players and owners who live [...]

Sunday Kind of Litter

Nashville, here are the things I found just laying around our city today:

God, I hope my rosemary looks that good someday.

Yep, let’s all go to the top of Tim’s cave and litter.  Nice.

Here I am at the corner of 12th and Wedgewood.  If you look straight ahead, you can just see the top of the [...]

Another Pup Quiz of Sorts

Three girls are in the car.  One is just getting over the flu.  One is just getting over a cold.  One is Mrs. Wigglebottom.
Which one threw up all over the back seat?

Wake Up, Professor!

I have so much to do today.  I need to go to the stores, pay bills, do taxes, do dishes (of course, fucking dishes), walk the dog, take a shower, blah blah blah blah blah.
But what I really want to do is goof off with the Professor all day.
I hope I can talk her into [...]

My Own Private Nashville

The first time I saw this house, I about fell over. This, my friends, is the house I would live in, if I could. Well, after renovations. I’m sure the house has a good vibe, but I need central air, too.
The John Work House.
I love the bathrooms at the Ryman.
Ryman Auditorium.
When Zora [...]

A Confession

I have a friend who works at the same place I do, but in a much more important position than I do, and every time I run into him, he’s talking about his ergonomic chairs in his office, which are see-through.
And I have to tell you, I spend a lot of time sitting in my [...]

I Feel Like I Should Oppose the Opposition to Toll Roads on Principle

So, the conservatives of our fine state are up in arms because the governor wants to put in some toll roads and I’m really suspicious of anything the conservatives want that appears to make sense on the surface.
Are the opposing the toll roads because toll money is going to be used to provide healthcare for [...]

In Which I Use Self-Promotion to Promote Myself

(sung to the tune of O Tannenbaum!) 
Oh, Nashville Scene! Oh, Nashville Scene!
How lovely is your website.
Oh, Nashville Scene,  oh, Nashville Scene,
I read it every day and night.
And I would be so greatly charmed
If you would take me in your arms
And link to me for all to see
Oh Nashville Scene, I’m begging.

Random Things I’m Keeping an Eye On

–The “For Rent” sign that went up in front of the neighbor’s.  I’ll be curious how long it takes our landlord to fill the place.  I’m sure the house on the corner is still empty, though that “For Rent” sign has been gone since the last storm.
–My absence from the Pith in the Wind blogroll.  [...]

Crossville Flying Spaghetti Monster

Y’all, today I received an email so awesome that I’m a little in awe of the fact that people this cool think to write me and tell me about their coolness.
Before I get to it, let me just give you a little background, for those of you who are not from Tennessee.  Because, while I [...]

Open Letter to Christian

Dear Christian,
I heard a rumor that the infamous “cell phone” footage is no longer available at WKRN.
Please say this isn’t so!
In the interest of science,
Aunt B.

Someone Stole My Cooter!

Y’all, as you may recall, I sent Rachel from Women’s Health News a crocheted cooter through inter-office mail two weeks ago.  It has yet to arrive.
I think it may be time to acknowledge that the cooter is not going to get there.
One wonders if someone in the mail room confiscated it.  Or if Rachel’s boss [...]

The Crazy, Feminist Bathroom

Oh, I forgot to tell you about the craziest thing I saw yesterday (not counting Mack’s driving, which I would like to let pass without comment, though word of warning, not much passes Mack on the interstate without comment from him, the kinds of comments that would make a sailor blush, the kinds of comments [...]

Man’s Death Not that Surprising

“It was a big shock, but he was 93.”

Tiny Pasture, Floating in the Wine, Tiny Pasture, Makes Me Feel Fine

Tiny Pasture got a job!  And a rare wild jaguar was spotted in New Mexico!
(Actually, it turns out that rare wild jaguars are spotted everywhere, not just in New Mexico, and thank the gods for that!  Who’d want to be the dude who had to walk along the border with a can of paint, trying [...]

We’re Not Family, So Don’t Call Me Sister

Over at Slate.com, they’re talking about race and gender and such on their blog The XX Factor and Melinda Henneberger, in her entry, is wondering why some black women reject this notion of sisterhood with white women.
Anyway, what Donna said was, you know, women don’t vote as a block because we never had to go [...]

An Open Letter to Huntsville

Dear Huntsville,
Don’t be coy.  Just cozy up here next to Tennessee and let a girl get to you.  This pretending to be on the boarder, then sneaking south as I try to reach you is cute, but we’re too old to play chase each other down the interstate.
Plus, fuck, it’s a long way to you and [...]

Preach On, Sister Plimco

Just let me know if you’d like me to send you a stunt cooter for use in the future.  I can crochet you one right up.

Those Little Things that Trip You Up

So, I’m doing what everyone does while sick, sitting on the toilet reading Davidson’s Gods and Myths of Northern Europe and two things catch my eye and have stuck with me all day.  One is a small matter–of parts of Prussia not being Christianized until as late as the 1500s.  This seems possible to me, [...]