An Open Letter to Huntsville

Dear Huntsville,
Don’t be coy.  Just cozy up here next to Tennessee and let a girl get to you.  This pretending to be on the boarder, then sneaking south as I try to reach you is cute, but we’re too old to play chase each other down the interstate.
Plus, fuck, it’s a long way to you and [...]

Preach On, Sister Plimco

Just let me know if you’d like me to send you a stunt cooter for use in the future.  I can crochet you one right up.

Those Little Things that Trip You Up

So, I’m doing what everyone does while sick, sitting on the toilet reading Davidson’s Gods and Myths of Northern Europe and two things catch my eye and have stuck with me all day.  One is a small matter–of parts of Prussia not being Christianized until as late as the 1500s.  This seems possible to me, [...]

The Man from GM Fails to Take Me to Sweden

The Man from GM just got back from Sweden.  He took these photos with his actual own camera.

And this:

I feel like I should talk some smack about the Man from GM, but I want him to take me with him next time.  After all, I’ve been a good friend to him, over the years, kind [...]

Everybody Wins (Well, Except for the Mexicans, but What Can You Do?)

I want to say something bitingly clever about the 287(g) program, but I just don’t have it in me today.  Last night, on all the news channels, they were talking about what a great success this has been, so great, in fact, that there’s now talk of petitioning the Feds to give us an immigration [...]

Not By the Hair on My Chinny Chin Chin

Via the Unapologetic Mexican, we learn that, according to the geniuses at Fox News, facial hair is indicative of racial or ethnic identity.
I, myself, have a chin hair I have to pluck out when I notice it, every month or so.
I assumed this was just a part of being born a mammal–warm blood, nipples, hair–but [...]

You, Too, Could Take a Vet to the Vet

The real question is whether your vet could get you into the VFW…
Exador informs us that you can adopt excess military dogs.  I had no idea, but what an awesome program. 
(In fair warning, both sites he links to have noise that starts instantly.)