Happy Hexennacht!

Tonight is Walpurgis Night, the grant exit to whatever Halloween let in and/or the grand entrance for whatever snuck out on All Hallow’s Eve.  It was believed that tonight was the grandest gathering time for witches and it marks the end of the Great Hunt for the year.
For sure there are other times during the [...]

Were There a Lot of Soldiers Living with Open Sewage in the 50s?

So, apparently the folks in the 82nd Airborne returned to Fort Bragg after being in Afghanistan for 15 months and were given moldy, sewagey, paint-peeling crap to live in.  As if that’s not bad enough, read this and then come back here and tell me that, while Brig. Gen. Dennis Rogers seems to have a [...]

Semi-Liveblogging Working From Home

7:30–Still in my pajamas.  Dog not walked.
7:35–Decide to live-blog working from home, just to entertain myself.
7:40–Discover that my yahoo mail is not working on this old computer.  Use this moment to give a shout-out to Coble, who has sent me an email I can’t reply to.
7:43–Animals already bored with my continued presense.  They’ve gone back [...]

Home Work

Today, I’m about to do something I’ve never done before–work from home.  I’m kind of excited.  I have this idea that it will be like being at the office, but I don’t have to worry about anyone finding me checking my comments here, and I’ll be able to do some laundry.
I feel a little decadent.  [...]

Wet Blanket

So, see, I’m totally justified in spreading out my completed, but sopping wet afghan on the Butcher’s bed to dry, not because he’s going to be gone for a few days only to call and ask what the name of the diamond building in Chicago is named (Smurfit-Stone) and not to tell me he got [...]

Is a Threat Free Speech? I Don’t Believe So.

I was thinking that Williamson County might be wise to ask Bradley Armoster to come back and administer some more spankings, considering that they’ve got a teenager called “Cooter”–a self-avowed white supremacist–running around a local high school with his truck full of Confederate Battle Flags and a noose.
I know we’re supposed to tolerate the Confederate [...]

Bridgett, Speaking of Weird Dreams

So, I had this dream last night that I found myself in possession of a good occult shop in an old building with good high ceilings.  The only thing wrong with it is that the walls were a bright yellow-orange.  So, I’m standing there and a guy comes in, kind of crouched down, and dancing, [...]

I’ve a Reason to Believe We all Shall Be Received

I come down to find that the Butcher has left me a note to put the camera in the car and my first thought is “You’re emptying an attic.  What do you need a camera for?”
But, of course, my friends, he’s taking his own journey.  It hadn’t occured to me that he didn’t want to [...]

The Butcher Goes to Help My Dad

I always get anxious when the Butcher leaves.  And so I’m anxious, because he’s leaving tomorrow.  It will be fine.  It always is.  But still.  I worry he’ll do something stupid or something bad will happen.  I’m not one of those people who gets bad feelings and so the absense of any nagging bad feeling [...]

Four Things 16th Century Spaniards Seemed to Love

1.  Boobs
2.  Beards
3.  Big collars
4.  Pictures of fruit arranged to look like people.

Sheep People and Goat People

So, the other day a large apparently hand-typed poster was found in a local barn and presented to me for my amusement.  I didn’t keep the poster, because I know too many people who need copies of it before I can take the original in good conscience, but the poster is awesome.
And it’s awesome in [...]

Hey, Representative Lynn! I Bet Some of These Kids Would Look Good Behind Bars

One of my readers has brought me the story of cute, but apparently potentially evil, children overthrowing the social order of the U.S. by learning English and putting out a newspaper.
Now, I don’t know if any of these kids are the children of illegal immigrants, but, on the off chance they are, I think the [...]

Oh my

My intern is in the other room right this second telling my boss about how the girl who is going to be my intern’s roommate for the coming year does not know what a bank is.
“Is that my card?” she asked my intern.
If this is an example of the great meritocracy that brings young minds [...]

An Interstate Full of Maxi Pads

Two cars, two different takes on the notorious maxi pad spill.  Note that the folks from Boston claim to be on I-65, which stopped my heart for a second, because, to put it mildly, taking I-65 to Graceland is a little out of the way.  But it turns out that Newscoma and Squirrel Queen were [...]

What Kind of Person Steals from a Baby, Representative Lynn?

Today, I was standing around flirting with a wee baby when I heard about something so stupid and evil I thought “This must be a mistake. Surely, the man who is telling me about this has suffered a bump on the head right before I got here or is high on gasoline fumes from [...]

Weekly Liberal TN Blogger Round-up

I didn’t make it on this week.  I can only assume that’s because the Butcher was right to point out that no one is going to hire me to do documentaries, no matter how crappy.  Shoot, I should have kidnapped the documentarians who were here and taken them over and then posted the video here [...]

Things on the Verge of Being Amazing

Here’s a couple of pictures of the front of my afghan (which, at the time, was not fully pieced together) and the back of the afghan. Both sides have their own charm and I trust that Miss Plimco will find occasion to treat both sides as the “right side.”
Also, here are a couple of [...]

“Woman Left Home with a Brown-eyed Man and I…”

I’ll admit that yesterday, upon saving the pork roast (which, for the record, included no garlic because we don’t have any in the house and I was hoping the garlic in the ketchup would do. I think it did okay, but you, America, should not be thwarted by my success.), I had half a mind [...]

Can This Pork Roast Be Saved?

Clearly, though, the most pressing matter in Nashville this morning is whether I can salvage this pork roast. 
Here’s what I’m trying:
The end of two ketchup bottles floating around in the fridge
Generous dash of Worchestershire Sauce
Big squirt of yellow mustard
End of a jar of bbq rub
Cumin
Onion
Chili powder
Heap of brown sugar
Water
Pork
Sauce pan
Bringing it slowly up to hot.
We’ll [...]

Links and Linking

So, as NM noted, wordpress has started sticking links at the bottom of posts.  They say that it’s about helping to drive traffic to blogs.  But between this and that feature that pops up the tiny previews of the webpage you’re about to go to, it’s enough to make me encourage folks to just retire [...]

Have I Already Ruined My Jalapeno Pepper Plant?

Am I overwatering?  When I got home from work today, both the bell pepper plant and the jalapeno were drooping and kind of wilty looking.  And the jalapeno had black spots where the branches, you know, branch out from the stems.
So, I didn’t water them and they appear now–I just went out and checked because I [...]

An Open Letter to Men

I know you’re still a little sore at me, but, in order to make it up to you, I bring you this important piece of news:
Masturbation lessens your risk of prostate cancer.
You’re welcome.  All I ask is that you let some good thoughts of me run through your head while you’re practicing proper prostate health.
Love,
Aunt [...]

A Tiny Post About Work

In my line of work, you sometimes get phone calls from people who want you to advise them on how to do business with other people vaguely in your line of work.  It’s like, if you coached a flag football team and had to randomly field calls from people who want to get into the [...]

Note to Self

He’s got “OpenSource” not “open sores.”  Now, keep nodding politely while he rambles on.

Random Things I Can’t Quite Make Up My Mind About

1. How does a guy who puts pictures of his bare butt (which, yes, is quite cute in it’s own way) on the internet turn around and claim to be big on privacy? What kind of privacy is it that protects your words and not your ass?
2. On a similar note, Mack [...]