Phone Calls that Stick With You

For Better
“Where’s Uncle Butcher?”
“He’s at a wedding.”
“Whose?”
“Remember the girl with the puppy we visited.  Her.”
“Who’s she getting married with?”
For Worse
“Hey, which of the hepatitises is the really bad one?”
“What?”
“You know, which is the one that Pamela Anderson has?”
“What?!”
“You can get that from having sex, right?”
“Yes, oh god.  Do you have hepatitis?”
“No, not me.  This guy [...]

Saturday Morning Coming Down

–Mrs. Wigglebottom is getting old.  It’s not just the occassional limp that reminds me.  It’s also that she used to be our one-dog garbage disposal.  Whatever you wanted to throw at her, she could eat.  And now?  You give her a bone slightly different than the ones she’s used to and she’s shitting in the [...]