And never spend your days tattling on your Dad to your Uncle B., because he will indeed then turn around and tattle on you when you’re not keeping the rest of the family in the loop on your medical and real estate conditions.
Word to the wise.
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For those of you who are new here, my mom once gave me the sage advice that one should never get in a butt fight with a Swedish woman. I take it to mean that one should not pick a fight one has no chance of winning.
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Also, unlike my Dad, I will not be giving him the satisfaction of calling to let him know his evil plan worked.
Filed under: Family
I don’t get out much, B. What is a “butt fight”?
You normally have them in the house. It’s when you and a loved one (or friend), stand hip to hip and attempt to throw the other one off balance by swinging your butts at each other.
You often have this kind of fight when two people are doing dishes and both standing at the sink.
Am I making my family seem really weird?
In my house, it’s usally preceded by talking smack and someone saying “You can’t guard me, babe” and maybe a head-fake as you head through the lane that runs between the sink and the fridge. Definitely need to have a ref to call the charge (“It’s a block. I had position!”), but the concept is the same.
We don’t get out much either.
Ahh, that makes sense. (?) But why Swedes? Are Viking butts better at this than say Gallic or Teutonic bottoms?
Now, “Don’t get in a butt fight with a Fijian woman.” That makes sense
I will have to ask my mom. On her mom’s side, she’s 1/8 Swedish, 1/8 German and 1/4 English. On her dad’s side, I don’t know–Dutch and some other stuff. Though we always learned most about the Swedish heritage. So, even though my mom is clearly not overwhelmingly Swedish, that was–for her, the source of our amazing butts. The English, supposedly, have no butts.
The English, supposedly, have no butts.
I can endorse this. My mom’s side (the kin-to-Lady-Di-side and yes that’s true, if it were still 1745) is buttless.
My dad’s side, however — the French/Irish side — has bootay for days. Must be a Gallic/Gaelic peasant thing. My sister and I can do the butt fight because while we both inherited mostly my mom’s lack of butt, we got enough back from the Fille side to knock each other down.
Sadly, my sister has begun trying to butt-fight at the sink with Baby Fishmouth, who only reaches her waist. I think that is terribly unfair, and I plan to teach Fishmouth some defensive moves soon.
Oh! Poor Baby Fishmouth. Though, I must admit, I take great joy in butt-fighting Mack’s daughter, so, yeah, I sympathize, but not enough to change my own behavior.
Now I understand the butt fight. Thanks. I don’t get into those, as I’m usually overmatched (high center of gravity).
As to the wierdness of your family, B., everyone’s family is a bit wierd. Did I tell you about my oldest sister also being my cousin?
At least I’m not my own grandpa.
http://www.ziplo.com/grandpa.htm
Thanks for the laugh! :)
[...] dunno what a butt fight is but Aunt B. is in the Nashville Dog [...]
Big butt, checking in: 3/8ths Swedish, 1/8 Norwegian, 1/4 German, 1/4 Scotch-Irish-English-etc. Oddly enough, Mom, from whence the Scandihoovian blood cometh, hath wide hips but no butt. However, Dad’s German heritage came to the rescue, so I got the wide hips and the big butt. Not quite Bertha-Butt territory, but not far from it.
Butt fights are universal:
It’s so funny! me and my girlfriens doin that all the time, just to prove our friendship lol.