1. Did you ever know someone who just seemed like the kind of person who would end up half way down the block in the middle of the pouring rain without realizing that he needed his umbrella?
Not that it’s raining, mind you. This is a metaphor.
The question is not “Do you know someone who goes out without an umbrella?” but “Do you know someone who seems to be the type of person who would be constantly caught up in his own thoughts so much that he would regularly go outside when it rained without his umbrella?”
Can you imagine his wife calling him up, “John (not that John is his name, I’m just saying), dear, did you remember your umbrella?” to which he would answer “Yes,” though in a grumbly way because he’s soaked to the bone because, though he remembered his umbrella between the house and the car, he was so distracted by something on NPR, he did not remember it from the car to the office?
And if you know someone like that, my question for you is–is it then the least surprising thing in the world to learn that he went to the University of Chicago?
I say, “No.” Or is it “yes”? No, it is not surprising. Yes, it is the least surprising. Yes, I think yes, is it and then I asked him with my eyes to ask again yes and then he asked me would I yes to say yes my mountain flower and first I put my arms around him yes and drew him down to me so he could feel my breasts all perfume yes and his heart was going like mad and yes I said yes I will Yes.
Ha, I’m such a nerd.
Did I ever tell you that the license plates on my first car were PLDY 616 in honor of that?
2. One of you sent me this lovely description of Walt Whitman’s blow job technique and I’m sharing it with you because it made me so happy this afternoon
“Edward Carpenter said that he had had sex with Walt Whitman and that the poet “thought that people should ‘know’ each other on the physical and emotional planes as well as the mental.” Carpenter in 1923 demonstrated to the young Gavin Arthur just how Walt Whitman gave a blow job. “He snuggled up to me and kissed my ear. His beard tickled my neck. He smelled like the leaves and ferns and soil of autumn woods… . I just lay there in the moonlight that poured in at the window and gave myself up to the loving man’s marvelous petting… . At last his hand was moving between my legs and his tongue was in my belly-button. And then when he was tickling my fundament just behind the balls and I could not hold it any longer, his mouth closed just over the head of my penis and I could feel my young vitality flowing into his old age. (Gay Sunshine Interviews, l:l26-28). Carpenter ~ like Sidney Morse ~ had first met Whitman in 1876 and felt he was carrying on the older man’s religion by communing in this way with the bodies of young boys.”
(I feel I should point out that Arthur was 20.)
I am so in love with the phrase “tickling my fundament” that I want to work it into some conversation today, and yet, how?
Hmm.
And also! Also, don’t you know that smell? “Leaves and ferns and soil of autumn woods.” That’s one of my favorite man-smells.
Filed under: Random Things
Go for the obvious – “did that tickle your fundament?” or some such.
There’s a passage in Schoolcraft (I think) where he talks about crime and punishment among the indigenous groups of the Upper Penisula…the phrase “and suffered a sturgeon thrust up his fundament” is really a showstopper when you hit it after a long day in the library.
And, apropos of random punishments for adultery and fundaments, there’s a word in classical Greek for the punishing of male adulterers (raphanizow) — it refers to the ritual of shaving off a man’s pubic hair and inserting a large radish in the offender’s rectum.
Ha, I’m so naive. I thought his fundament was his taint.
Wait, the classical Greeks punished adultery by men? I thought that was considered acceptable. Or does “male adulterers” mean men who had sex with married women?
Yes, men who had sex with married women.
Thankyouthankyouthankyou!!!! You cannot know how much I needed this laughter today! That man without an umbrella who fails to notice his progressive dampening? Were you talking about my dad, from whom I, unfortunately, get my predisposition to ditzy-ness?
Please find a way to include the fundament-tickling in conversation, and then please share!
1) Err.. that’s me. sorta. Without the U. of C.
by the way, did you see where I put my keys?