Do do dooot dooot doo

–We had chili for dinner and I had the brilliant idea of putting the left over brisket in it and… wow!  Yum. –Then the Butcher dug me a hole and I filled it with the lilac and watered it and am hoping that it does well.  That would be awesome to have a lilac in [...]

Hurray!

I just got word that my lilac has arrived. You know, really, I can only hope to be half as generous with my plants and whatever knowledge I earn and my time as y’ll have been with me. I really do love you guys.  I’m sorry I’m such a weirdo, as I imagine normal girls [...]

An Open Letter to the Tennessee General Assembly in Regards to Donna Rowland

Dear State Legislators, I don’t need a show of hands, but I want to ask: how many of you have never fucked someone you’re not married to?  Because I, as an outsider, hear all kinds of tales about what so-and-so did with this lobbyist or why so-and-so had to marry that intern or how so-and-so’s [...]

Things I Noticed This Morning

–If you get your Comcast bill electronically and your Comcast is out, it is impossible to find their number to call and tell them.  I can’t decide if that’s annoying or brilliant on their part or both. –I have bugs in my compost pile!  I was wondering how that stuff was going to transform from [...]

My Tomatoes are in God’s Hands Now

Okay, I have the tomatoes planted in new pots and they’re laying all over like “Oh, god, you’ve ruined everything.”  Like insolent teenagers. I hope you guys are right that this is the right thing. And I’ll be very excited if it works.

Why Don’t You Just Put the Baby Up for Adoption?

A really hard-to-read reminder that there is no “just.”

Written in Chalk and other Brief Reviews

So, I got me the new Buddy and Julie Miller album.  I don’t know if you guys are familiar with them, but I would call their sound kind of “friendly haunted house.”  Like if your neighbors were the Addams family, but the Addams family was from East Nashville, not out east, and they were musicians, [...]

The Tiny Cat’s Butt

I just have to state, for the record, that I feel like a complete and utter jackass.  Every year the tiny cat’s butt hair falls out and for the first few years of her life, I would dilligently take her in to the vet and he and I would ponder her butt and he would [...]

Aw, Pete, I Bet You Say That to All the Girls

Pete Kotz over at Pith describes me thusly: “Feminist, political saboteur and gardening enthusiast.” I’m not exactly sure what a “political saboteur” is, but I like it.  It makes me feel like Alan Moore might someday make a comic book about me.  And then, knock on wood, denounce the eventual movie based on that comic [...]

Whew, That Was a Bad Idea!

I tried to transplant the seedlings into bigger pots. I stopped, since it was more tearing of roots than moving of plants. Holy shit, I don’t know what to do about that.

Yes, I Did Get a Little Weepy

I was all “Whatever shall I do for my huge ass tomato plants?” and then I thought “Well maybe there’s something in the greenhouse.”  And I went out there and there are pots of all kinds of sizes everywhere, scattered on the ground. It was like my yard gave me a present. I also told [...]

So Long, Test

I’ve been bummed for days to learn of Andrew Martin’s death.  I wish I had something insightful to say about it, but I really don’t.  I loved watching all those guys–Eddie, Chris, Owen, Davey Boy, Crash, Bam Bam, and so on–and it just doesn’t seem like that long ago we were going down to the [...]

My God Demands Your Suffering as a Sacrifice and Other Random Things

–The tiny cat is actually running around and playing with things behind the couch.  I just can’t tell you how much this tickles me. –Can we all just agree that Lars Krutak is the thinking person’s Chris Pontius? –Rachel has been named by Library Journal a “Mover and Shaker.”  And yet, I have heard nothing [...]

The Patriarchy Sucks for Conservative Men, Too

I don’t get paid enough to contemplate Stacey Campfield’s penis.  I’m not sure how much would be enough to make me willing to contemplate Stacey Campfield’s penis, but believe me, if I were paid to contemplate Campfield’s penis, I would go all in, with some kind of disguise and a fake penis myself and I [...]

This Might Make Me a Little Bit Country

But the fact that, for some reason, Family Guy just showed Conway Twitty singing a whole song just delighted the hell out of me.

What Happens When You Give a Tipsy Person a Crappy Camera

Oh, god, I’m now convinced that every Sunday afternoon could be well-spent with people drinking beer on my front porch.  If Kathy were here, I would smooch her, because she found this house for me.

Nothing is Done! So, Let’s Talk Gardening.

I have been running around all weekend like a chicken with its head cut off and still, here I am at ten on Sunday morning and I have to get to the grocery store and pick up some before company gets here.  I haven’t swept in fourteen years, it looks like! Okay, gardening.  I haven’t [...]

Bad Noises

So, I just took the dog out and heard what can only be described as the sound of a dog in pain and fear.  Mrs. W. stood  stock still in the yard and I strained in the dark to hear what I could hear, but it was obvious that some thing(s) were harrassing the dogs [...]

It’s Hard to Garden in the Rain

But I got bottles on the bottle tree (I only need four more!) and e. tennesseensis in the ground and yelled at the dog some about how she’d better stick close to me.  I didn’t think she’d be that excited about going outside, since it’s raining quite heavily but when she saw that I was [...]

Name that Tune

It’s just after midnight and I’m running the dog outside one last time before bed and there’s this noise.  At first, it sounds kind of like a howling dog, off in the distance maybe in the pasture, but none of the dogs in the neighborhood respond to it, which is just physically impossible.  So, that’s [...]

Shocking Pitbull Attack

Say Uncle has the details, but let me warn you that it’s really, really alarming. I know I had to sheild Mrs. Wigglebottom’s eyes just to keep her from being upset.

E. Tennesseensis–”Very Promiscuous”

Oh my god, y’all.  I cannot even tell you how stupid my day was.  I could not find the car inspection place on Gallatin Road to save my life and, after an hour, I just gave up and drove down to the one on Craighead.  Then I went out to the Secretary of State’s place [...]

The Ghost of Kurita

So, I’m sitting at a meeting tonight and we’re talking about stuff and someone is like, “It’s really a shame we don’t still have Rosalind Kurita to help us with this.  She was great on children’s and family issues.” “Yeah, but if you have her help you, you can’t ever tell any of the Democrats [...]

Things I Should Have More to Say About, But Don’t

1.  The Music Issue of the Oxford American never showed up here at work, but the Race Issue is here.  America, I hesitate to say anything at all, because lord knows I don’t want another Smirnoff meltdown in the comments, but, fine, I’m just going to say it.  This is some 1980s shit on my [...]

Only Senator Marrero Stood for Us

I gave her a lot of grief, but I just want to point out that Senator Marrero was the only person yesterday to stand up and tell things from the pro-choice side and from the side of reality. I’d like to have the opportunity to say there is a different perspective. There are those of [...]