Sleep, Glorious Sleep

Finally, I slept well last night.  Since I’ve been sick, I’ve been sleeping like shit, but last night I slept like a dream.  And I dreamed I was on Dirty Jobs.  And it was my job to hug Mike Rowe and feel his muscles.  Well, obviously, that wasn’t my job.  I was supposed to be [...]

Another Thing to Put on the To-Do List: Elf Census

I find this story from Slate so charming I just about can’t even tell you.  I have not seen evidence of elves at the house, but maybe we don’t have a backyard ghost, but a particularly tall elf. The Butcher told us yesterday that, often, when he’s out in the hammock, the wild turkeys walk [...]

Blackberries

So, the neighbors to the south told us that there are tons of blackberries in the pasture behind us, tons.  And the little gate in their backyard–unlike the little gate in our back yard–still works, so they go back there in the summer and pick blackberries. And, they said that we have a blackberry bush, [...]

Daffodils Will Save Me

Whew, sorry, folks.  I had a little breakdown there.  The Professor called me, because when I start getting all “Green Eggs and Ham” in my righteous indignation, with the repetition, broken only by slight variations, of the things that anger me, she knows it’s a sign of impending trouble.  So, I was talking to her [...]

Women of Tennessee, We are Screwed

Dear World, I write to you out of such deep despair I don’t even know where to start.  I read Jeff Woods’s post an hour ago and I’m still so angry I’m shaking. I’ll just quote: Q: What else? Fowler: There are other things we could do as well if this resolution passes that we [...]

A Few Things that Freak Me Out

1.  I have a chin hair.  I’m not embarrassed to admit it.  I just check my chin and when I feel it, I grab the tweezers, get in front of a mirror, look for a dark spot, and yank it out.  But today, when I went to pluck it, I couldn’t see it.  I managed [...]

Ooo. I Forgot to Tell You About Our Neighbor

We have a bat!  Who is hopefully not living at the top of the chimney, but maybe in a nearby tree. Ha, I’m sorry.  Eventually the novelty of having a house will wear off, but bear with me. I tried to make the Butcher look at the daffodils but he refuses.  He says he’s only [...]

E. Tennesseensis For Me

Thanks to Saraclark, I am bringing home e. tennesseensis on Friday!  Woo hoo! And more daffodils have bloomed.  And I realized that there’s not a side of my house that doesn’t get some sunlight!

Artists, Tell Me I Can Do This

Okay, after sitting on the couch for two days I have decided a number of things.  1.  Someone needs to dust the TV screen.  2.  Our TV is very small.  3.  There isn’t much to look at on that wall other than the TV.  4.  The dude on Color Splash has convinced me that art [...]

I Love My Grandma

I’m going to be honest.  I did not always like my Grandma D.  When I was growing up, my Grandma A. was where it was at.  She loved kids.  She loved potatos.  She loved chocolate.  And her whole house was open and available to kids for playing.  If you wanted to make cookies in the [...]

Black Says Something Worth Thinking About

So, Tiny Pasture is still all up in arms comparing Camper to Campfield, because Camper dares to make men consider what it would mean if their reproductive decisions were at the whim of the state–Dear Adam, that discomfort you feel?  Like “who the fuck is this woman to even suggest messing with my junk?” That’s [...]

To Go or Not to Go

It’s at that point in this cold and in the morning where I’m waffling on whether to go to work.  I feel so much better than I did, even though I don’t feel up to par, that I think I could go and sit through a day and be there for the things I have [...]

Too Sick to Garden, But Not Too Sick to Talk about Gardening

I was hoping to get the garden spot nailed down and some tilling done, at the least.  I had dreams of getting the back flower beds cleaned up and ready for planting.  Instead, I spent all yesterday in a drug induced semi-coma exactly where I plan to spend today in a drug-induced semi-coma–on the couch, [...]

The First Blooms of Spring

For y’all, I went outside, even under these circumstances, to show you my first open daffodils.  They came from the batch the college professor sent me, though the ones who were here before seem to have been about ready to bloom for ages now.

All My Bad News Smells Bad

The good news is that the tiny cat’s butt hair is growing back in nicely. The bad news is that she’s now got poop stuck to it. The good news is that I can kind of breath again thanks to the joys of Alka-seltzer Cold. The bad news is that the tiny cat is sitting [...]

Feel Good, Friday. Get a Real Good Feel.

There seems to have been a whole period of time where songwriting consisted of inventing a name for a girl–Mony, Sloopy, etc.–and then singing a song about how much you love her, you know love her. And so, even though I think Sloopy could not be a stupider name if it tried, I still love [...]

What is an Appropriate Gift for a Daffodil?

So, I’m trying to pull out of my driveway onto Clarksville Pike, but there’s traffic, caused, I’m sure, by the twin specters of everyone in the neighborhood being struck by a severe lack of water pressure in the shower, thus causing us all to run late, and some folks refusing to listen to me when [...]

Are You Happy Now, Sickos?

I appear to have caught your cold.  I have a headache and am hot and stuffy.  And I still have to go to work, because I have a deadline which is killing me and if I even make it through this week with only burning my hand on the oven and getting sick I will [...]

Let’s Talk Tillers

Oh, good lord, people, I just learned that there is this thing called eco feminism that somehow involve only poking tiny holes between your blades of grass and planting in a way that doesn’t defile mother earth.  I would have thought, and in fact remain suspicious that it actually is, that eco feminism would be [...]

Are We To Believe that Nashville Police are Stupid?

In the Tennessean article, Sheriff Hall says Hall says he doesn’t think the criticisms in the report apply to his program. He’s got no problem with bed space, averaging 300 empty beds system-wide, and he believes the way Nashville is set up — with Metro police making arrests and the sheriff’s department booking offenders — [...]

Let’s Just Be Done with the 287(g) Nonsense

Nezua has the GAO press release that states what we all know–the 287(g) program is a mess.  I’d like to believe that maybe it was the combined discovery that our fine Sheriff was shackling pregnant women to their hospital beds and speaking to white supremacist groups that will be the nail in the coffin of [...]

Update on the Strawberries

I think that the strawberries might not be as dead as they appeared.  I’m going to reserve judgment as the weather warms, but a couple of them have given me reason to believe that they might be willing to perk back up. And my contact at the Historical Commission has had no luck in locating [...]

Campfield Shows His True Colors

There isn’t any justification Campfield could give that a person with a heart  would accept for why he thinks it’s okay to devote the State’s resources to persecuting kids, but he keeps trying. We get it, Campfield.  We get it.  You’re the kind of guy who picks on children. Okay, we get it.  Please stop [...]

The Garden Grows

My dad talked me out of moving the garden.  He can make the pump work and water flow, he claims, and I believe that, if anyone can, he can, so why the hell not?  I call him up to ask his opinion and he immediately launches into how important it is to put the garden [...]

Step Carefully

It’s funny how you have three or four different conversations that all seem to come back around to being about the same thing.  And the conversations I’ve had lately are about, in part, how we let language become a gate rather than a bridge.  How can I make you understand me?  How can I understand [...]