I ate a whole cucumber for lunch. A large cucumber. From my garden. It was so yummy. But now I’m feeling totally like a cucumber could come bursting out of me at any second. I saw an episode of Mythbusters where they discovered that you could lay a person on top of bamboo that was just coming out of the ground and the bamboo could grow through that person.
I now suspect the same thing could be true of cucumbers. I could be sitting here and I would get an itch right at stomach level this afternoon and there, nurtured in the warm moist dampness that is my innards, would be a tiny, curling cucumber sprout bursting through my skin.
And I would have to go every afternoon and lay out in the sun, big white belly to the sky, to encourage it to grow.
I will probably have to start drinking more water.
Filed under: Stories About Me
I love this so much I could burst.
Cucumbers make be burp so I never eat them. Unlike beer, which also makes me burp, but for some reason I am able to accommodate that level of discomfort.
Will you produce regular cucumbers or some hybrid cucabees? Becumbers?
Oh, will my whole heart, I’m hoping I produce Becumbers. I don’t know for sure what they’d look like, but then I could open up a road-side attraction and produce stand.
That would be awesome.
There was a case, not long ago, in Russia: doctors performed surgery to remove a “mass” from a man’s lung. They were surprised to find a small (~2″?) coniferous tree growing in the lung. He must have inhaled a seed. So keep you fingers crossed. :-)
I eat at least one whole cucumber a day. Two yesterday. I laugh at puny side-affects like burping, although the mega-bloating is disconcerting even to me.
As a wee lass, there was one summer when I worried quite a bit about a watermelon growth due to seed intake. It turned out not to be an issue, but that was a melon – not a cuke. Who knows how this will turn out for you?
May your roadside stand prosper. And if not, there’s always the traveling sideshow variety of a career.