Not-So-Bright Moments in Gardening, Brought to You by B.

So, I had let the weeds on the south side of the house get out of hand. I don’t say that mildly, completely out of hand. The poor hostas were having to battle with all kinds of privet and holly and oak and rose of sharon seedlings just for what little light gets over there. [...]

A Question for Gun Nuts

Okay, I live in a fairly rural part of Davidson County. Not rural rural, but rural. We have deer and wild turkeys and coyotes in our back yard regularly and a big cow pasture behind us. Directly in front of us is Clarksville pike, then a row of houses, then Dry Fork Creek, then Dry [...]

17. El Protector

My friend John asked me about ‘El Protector’ over lunch one day, asked if I’d heard anything about it. At the time, there was a big police initiative to reach out to the Hispanic community called ‘El Protector,’ which we considered to be something of a sad joke.  ‘Yes, we’re trying to deport your friends [...]

Who Lit a Fire Under My Butt?

The weeding I wanted to get done is done. The bulbs and roots are planted.  The dog is washed. The groceries are shopped. And I have firewood to make me a fire to sit in front of while I watch scary movies. And I got gas for the car. Shoot. But at the moment I’m [...]

Tasks for the Day

1. Put some clothes on. 2. Weed where I want to plant. 3. Plant where I just weeded. NM and I ordered some bluebells and some daffodils and I ordered an astilbe to go at the very shady end of my perennial bed. 4. If the yard dries out, move the irises. I also want [...]

16. Granddad

Dear readers, I admit, when the woman from the Downtown Presbyterian church said, “We never have crying babies on Sunday morning,” it was out of my mouth before I could stop it, “Do y’all have any babies in church on Sunday morning?” Luckily, she thought that was funny. To look at it, you would assume [...]

It’s the 16th Already?!

Where has this month gone? I still need nine nights for sitting. It’s going to have to be the 20th or 21st through the 28th or 29th.  I need to go get candles.  I need to grind some plants.  I need to get some dried sage because mine isn’t dried, even if it was ready, [...]

15. Bacon Frying in the Pan

Years ago a couple, the Andersons, moved to a little house on Ordway. Their neighbor was a little old man named Tim Macon, who lived alone now that his wife had died and his children had moved north.  He was a perfectly delightful neighbor. He’d come over to help Mrs. Anderson dig bulbs.  He could [...]

Tennessee Has Colonels?

So, I’m reading along down this post at The9513, and I see that they have learned, via press release, that Governor Bredesen made Tommy Cash an honorary colonel. Now, I knew Kentucky had honorary colonels–Sanders and Wilkes for instance–but I had NO idea Tennessee did this. How does one go about becoming a Tennessee colonel? [...]

Ma, I Made The Scene!

I went to Qdoba for lunch just so I could grab myself a bunch of copies of this week’s Nashville Scene, and see if my entries all made it.  And then I sat here and laughed with delight, seeing my name in print.  Holy shit.  How much awesome fun is this? You can read them [...]

Trying New Things

I went to the Best of Nashville gathering, which was my own personal hell, in terms of set-up.  Oh, it seemed innocent enough, like it was just going to be in a big tent outside the Parthenon, but you had to go into the Parthenon to check in, which meant up a bunch of tall [...]

14. The Sylvan Heights Soldier

Sylvan Park has properly gentrified and West End has had a fancy streak for as long as anyone can remember, but Sylvan Heights, wedged between the two of them, laying along the railroad tracks is still waiting for its neighbors’ good fortune to spread through it. So, a person cannot be blamed for not noticing [...]

Pumpkins

Well, after all that, I only ended up with two pumpkins and one of them has a hole in the bottom where someone started to eat it.  I don’t even know if they’re quite big enough for jack-o’-lanterns, but I think that’s what they’ll become.  I don’t know who or what would have eaten the [...]

Umm…

Is this awesome or horrifying?  I can’t decide.

District 62

I don’t have anything to say that hasn’t already been said by LeftWingCracker or SouthernBeale better. I will articulate two things. 1. The guy who could have run, just as he is, as a conservative Democrat, won. The guy who could have run, just as he is, as a right-wing nutjob, lost. This means two [...]

13. Pebbles

Here is a sad story I heard. There is a son, who is old now, whose mother died when he was young. They lived out in the country, down Bull Run Road, and she was buried in their family plot. Every Sunday he can, he still goes out to her grave and sits with her. [...]

And This Guy Ran for School Board

I was going to take it upon myself to refute, point by point, every dumb-ass, heartless, cruel, bigoted thing Martin Kennedy says here, but then I thought, why bother? Kennedy is upset about two things. 1. He really is angry that anyone would dare try to make him feel bad about being a bigot when [...]

Is There a Tennessee Writers’ Hall of Fame?

If so, I’d like to nominate this piece by Jack Neely. I know he’s talking about East Tennessee, but this paragraph strikes me as something we as a whole state need to think long and hard about (emphasis mine): Maybe seeming “country” makes it easier to impress visitors, and ourselves. Whether fairly or not, the [...]

12. Some Ghosts Make You Blush

If you’ve ever been into any of the four story buildings on Lower Broad or 2nd Avenue, you may find yourself wondering why, no matter what time of day it is, the music is always so loud. You’re not trying to be a party-pooper, you think, but how is a man supposed to talk to [...]

Having the Life You Think You Should Have

The thing that concerns me most about my parents, not just for their sake, but for making sure I watch out for it in myself, is that they seem often to get themselves in situations that feel familiar, no matter how shitty those situations are. Maybe that’s not fair.  I’m trying to speak in generalities, [...]

The Goat Festival

The story is over at Pith.

Um, What Did Stacey Campfield Do with Jackie and Dunlap?

Does anyone know if the Red State Update guys are okay?  Or did Stacey Campfield tie them up and hide them somewhere before he took over their set? Compare with this.

In Which We Rescue Some Irises

My mom and I went way out into the back scrub and she showed me how to liberate irises from a too-shady spot.  So we pulled up all the irises we could find and put them in a bed closer to the house. It was a pretty nice visit. The fainting goat festival was a [...]

11. Pressed into Service

Jesse Price was an ordinary guy, who died when he was 26 in a train accident in 1880 on Valentine’s Day. If there was speculation about his death being more suicide than accident, based on the day, let me put that to rest now. Price just died, in a way people just die. He laid [...]

Everybody Hollerin’ Goat