The New Set of Ghost Stories

Shoot, people, I’m loving writing the new ghost stories. I’m especially loving writing them now, knowing I’ll have some time to polish them before y’all see them. It’s all I can think about, in a way that really makes me happy, to try to figure out what it is I want to say and how [...]

A Plea

Gentlemen, it’s 2010. I have been a brainy nerd for all my life. You’re going to have to come up with something a little more original than “you’re thinking too much.” Just out of respect for my time, come up with something more original. Thank you.

It’s Like an Armpit Out There

Every year, I think, “Gosh, how weird to live in Tennessee and never go to Bonnaroo,” and then it gets to be about this time of year, when you sweat walking the dog at 6:30 in the morning, and I remember why. Did you know the Nashville Zoo used to be up here near Pleasant [...]

I Know Liz Garrigan is Awesome and All

But for as long as I’ve been here, conservatives have been falling all over themselves in order to complain about how communist (or whatever word they’re using as an insult against liberals) the Scene is. So, I can’t help but be a little perplexed as to why Diane Black would quote anyone from the Scene [...]

Josie Covington

All right, folks who are smarter than me, I’m wanting to write a ghost story about Josie Covington, but I need just a little firmer factual foundation than I have to leap from. I think this may be, in part, a failure of research imagination. But it also could be that there’s just not all [...]

Saint Judas

I just got around to listening to “Saint Judas” today (I’m a little behind on my Nine Bullets reading) and I just have to ask you–is this not a kind of wonderful poetry? I’ve been reading a lot of Devil stories lately, just to make some space for him to show back up in the [...]

Ugh, “Play”

I just want to complain for a second and say that, if you are a business with a product I might use in my line of work, don’t tell me in the sales pitch that there are areas on your website for me to “play.” I don’t care how awesome your product is. I am [...]

True Nerdy Confessions

When I’m bored and feeling down, I have taken to mocking-up, mock-upping, whatever, covers to imaginary books. This would be more impressive if I were a designer of any sort, but I am not, alas. I know, you’re shocked, since my stick art is so damn realistic. I’ve been thinking a lot about whether a [...]

Occam’s Hairbrush

I’m going to tell you all a funny story, because I realized recently that it isn’t mortifying to me any more, but funny. Because I think that I have a rule to live by that is pretty much the opposite of Occam’s Razor. Occam’s Razor is basically that the simplest explanation is probably right. So, [...]

Little Disagreements

1. The Butcher and I are having a fight about Tom Petty’s new single. I say, “You had me at the first five notes of the guitar part.” He says that he hates the musical arrangement. 2. So, while we were at Mule Day, we saw some folks selling some wood bookshelves. Later, my dad [...]

The Tennessee State Library and Archives Makes Pith

In which I tell broader Nashville about my awesome tree.

Things I Saw & Some of Them Were Sad

In Which the Tiny Cat Scares the Crap Out of Me

The tiny cat has taken,  lately, to living in my bedroom window, which, for some reason, necessitates jumping up and down eight million times a night in the noisiest manner possible. Late last night, I heard a huge crash from the bedroom and went in to yell at her (let’s be honest), and she was [...]

Things Get Hinkier in the Henry Granju Case

So, basically, they’re done investigating Henry’s death. Nothing they can do. No, I’m not even kidding. What they can do? Release Henry’s autopsy to the media before releasing it to the family. Insinuate that Katie is a crazy liar. And up their PR war by releasing all this information the night before Henry’s funeral. Parents, [...]

Ron Ramsey Wanted to Cut Funding to Lower Our Infant Mortality Rate

Let me just repeat it, because it is the truth. Ron Ramsey wanted to cut funding to lower our infant mortality rate. THIS WEEK, he wanted to do this. And still, this same week, he produces a radio ad claiming to have a strong pro-life record. What do you even say in the face of [...]

Where Have all the Flowers Gone, blah blah blah blah

I’m bummed about the end of Liberadio, and Kleinheider being off the internet (and no, fucking Facebook doesn’t count), and I think just general end-of-session blahs. It’s hard not to be burnt out on Tennessee politics. Especially when you know next year is going to be worse. Believe me, folks, if Arizona doesn’t get sued [...]

Three Befuddling Images

What flower is this?! How awesome is this? And who does not feel bad for the tiny cat here, seeing as how she’s the only cat who really needs wet food?

The Power of My Boob Freckle Scares Even Me

I had to go to Walgreens today and a guy let me cut in front of him in line. He and his friend were standing there, waiting at the pharmacy counter and I sauntered up, all boob freckle aglow and he said, “You can go first.” and I said, “Really?” and he smiled wickedly and [...]

A Feminist Defense of Nikki Haley

You knew all that bullshit about how female politicians don’t have sex scandals because we’re too good and pure and not of this earth or too busy doing right for the good of the country had to be a crock of shit. And look! It is. Just like other human beings, women fail to live [...]

I don’t think those are black-eyed susans

It’s definitely a yellow flower, but I’m going to have to get a better look in daylight. That innerd looks brown to me. Still, I have to imagine it’s some kind of rudbeckia. I don’t know what people did for fun before there were flowers to watch and speculate about.

Things Become Strange in the Case of Henry Granju

Henry Granju did not “allegedly” die. That poor kid is on his way to the graveyard as we speak. And he had injuries. Severe injuries, which can be verified by any of the medical professionals who treated him. I don’t live in Knoxville, so I don’t need the Knoxville police to not put me on [...]

Some Stuff to Read

1. This poem is so good. I love the tension between the really formal sense of it and the superheros. I don’t know. It just delights me. 1a. Man, I am honored to be included in with writers like this. Did I tell y’all my parents read “Bone”? And my dad called and was all [...]

The TNGOP Gubernatorial Candidates Put Out Some Ads

Weren’t there three Republicans? I’m going to be honest. I think there are three, but I can only remember “the rich dude” and “Tennessee’s Angriest Gubernatorial Candidate.” Third guy, you need to come up with something catchy about you. If there is a third guy. Anyway, let’s consider the ads. First, the rich dude. In [...]

Take My Crap and Be Happy

Since I’ve moved to Tennessee, I have pretty regularly had these conversations with people about how having the government provide basic things for people is a crock because it’s the government performing a role that should be performed by churches or other charitable organizations. This morning, I read this post, about how a woman came [...]

The Great Funk of 2010

If you follow Tennessee politics, it’s pretty natural to get to a point in the spring where you’re just like “Fine, you fuckers win. You broke me.” Where you’re pushing “Yes, do that,” or “Oh, god, no, don’t do that stupid thing.” and you just lose the ability to keep pushing as hard as the [...]