Well, Okay, It’s No Farm & Fleet

But I would marry Tractor Supply Company. I went there today and got a pig’s knuckle for the dog (verdict? Ten whole minutes of barking at it before she has settled into gnawing on it), morning glory seeds (for use only in planting, according to the package), plant food, Frontline for dog and cats, a [...]

The Yard Plays Offense and Defense

Whenever I go out to do anything in the yard, I’ve come to accept that the yard is just going to kick my ass, because the yard has more weeds than I can ever pull and it has beautiful plants in it I get distracted by. I did learn the important difference between grass and [...]

I Miss My Manuscript!

I think the next time I write a book, I’ll be better prepared for the sit-around-and-wait times. But ugh, good lord, this round is killing me. I was like an open dam, just gushing words for the book, for Pith, for here. And I’d spend an hour or two with the manuscript every night. Then [...]

Bunnies, Evil or Super Evil?

You know, sometimes I do feel bad when the cats bring home a half-eaten rabbit or mouse or mole. I’m not heartless and, though I know it’s the way of the world, it’s not something I revel in. Unless I’m walking back to the house and I stop to check on my vegetables and I’m [...]

“Thank You, Butt Cramp”

I was walking back from lunch, where I witnessed the aftermath of a car accident in which both parties got ticketed. My guess is that, as happens, some moron tried to turn left onto Terrace Place from 21st as some other moron was trying to turn left from Terrance Place onto 21st and they met [...]

The Weather, The Morning After

We were very, very lucky here. Just seeing the pictures of the devastation to the south of us. I mean, it’s hard to even know what to say.  But who’s thinking about anything else? The internet has brought us closer. I sat on twitter and fretted over folks in Memphis, Chattanooga, and Knoxville, who seemed [...]

Being Nice

I swear, after this, I’m moving on from HB600, but, like I said, I think what happened during that vote brings into stark relief the problems we Democrats have. So, Steve Ross has a good post about why it’s counterproductive to be mad at the handful of Democrats who voted for HB600 and not the [...]

The Weather, Day Two

My brother is in North Carolina, driving back to Georgia tonight. He called to shoot the shit on his drive and I was like “You’re doing what?!” “I’m driving back to Georgia.” And inside I was screaming, “Fucking West Georgia Motherfucker?!” He didn’t know I’m sitting here watching the weather channel point to all the [...]

A Few Quick Things

1. I really love that “Shady Grove” is the girl’s name. I used to think that it was a town, but listening to the song, no, clearly that’s his gal’s name. 2. A movie with Dwayne Johnson, Vin Diesel, and Ludacris?! I’ve never seen any of the other The Fast and the Furious movies, but [...]

The Weather: Day One

Well, we made it through Day One of the Weather Apocalypse in one piece. The dog is being weirdly antsy this morning, though, which is making me nervous. It’d be nice if we could name these weather events so that people had some sense of what it is we’re going through. “An endless, days-long line [...]

Storming

I’m getting nervous about these storms coming through. I think we have our hatches battened down as much as they can be and all the trees big enough to fall on the house are on the east side of the house. Flooding is pretty much my only worry. Oh, sure, and tornadoes, but you can’t [...]

Tick, Tick, Boom

It’s funny. I can sleep through a thunderstorm no problem. But I woke up last night and knew there was a motherfucking tick on me. Could feel it. But every time I went to grab it, it would fall off, somewhere, down in the bed. Finally I caught it and flushed it. But man, that [...]

HB 600

So, HB 600 passed the State House last night. So, here’s what we know: Republicans don’t believe cities have the same right to self-govern they think states have. Republicans (and some motherfucker Democrats) believe you should be able to be fired from your job for being gay or transgender. But at least most of the [...]

What Now, Vampire?

Coble has a great post about people being tickled that the vampire and gal at the center of the Twilight books decided to wait until they’re married to have sex. And it got me thinking about how we seem to be in the middle of some big cultural shifts about what vampires are helping us [...]

Didn’t Do It

I never did tell my parents about the book. I meant to, but we got busy and then our brother got here and that was kind of chaotic. And by the end, I didn’t feel like I could dump that on them, too. So, I don’t know. I walked the dog this morning and I [...]

Nashville Voodoo

We went to Morgan Park today after my brother and his boys left to review it. It was good to do something together that wasn’t a screaming nightmare. Not that the whole visit was a screaming nightmare, but just that… I don’t know. I don’t know how to explain it. I’m really and sincerely starting [...]

Easter in the Yard and at Morgan Park

The Easter Count

Today: Number of people who have cried: 1 Number of people who expressed a desire to cry in the Old Hickory United Methodist Church Women’s Bathroom: 1 Number of instruments played: 2 Hours of duration of playing: 3 (approximately) Number of people who ate candy rather than interact: 4 Number of people who came to [...]

We Might Not Make It To Easter

Lord, we are about ready to kill each other. But two funny things. 1. When we walked into the Tammy Wynette exhibit at the Hall of Fame, it was obvious that someone in there was farting. 2. When we were in Golden Corral, a dude sitting next to us at Golden Corral was sleeping between [...]

Well, I Guess I Should Go Use My New Washing Machine

I need to get started on the laundry, get the dining room kind of useable, and wash the dog this morning. The new washing machine is so smart, though, that I feel like, if I sit here long enough, eventually it will come in the house, get all the dirty shit, and just do everything. [...]

The Glass Ceiling

We were just talking and my co-worker is outraged that Tennessee schools can now teach creationism in science class and legally hate on Muslims and all the things that are going on in the state legislature this session and I said to her that I don’t really find it angry-making. What I find it is, [...]

Do Other People Fight With their Dogs?

I’m having a huge fight with Mrs. Wigglebottom, but I feel kind of stupid about it, because, though she’s clearly sullen, I know she doesn’t get what the problem is. But it pisses me off that, no matter how good she is when it’s just us here, no matter how well she listens, how predictably [...]

Deathless by Catherynne Valente

I keep meaning to come back to this and talk about it, but poor Deathless has suffered by not being problematic in ways that stick in my craw like So Much Pretty, which I needed to write about immediately after finishing it. I didn’t want to write about Deathless except to say “Wow.” I think [...]

This Should Be Interesting

Remember how there was all that brouhaha about how making the HPV vaccination mandatory for girls would turn girls into giant Slutty McSluttersons? Well, guess who’s getting oral cancer like we’ve returned to the halcyon days of everybody smoking? Yep. I bet the “controversy” over vaccinating kids against HPV quickly and quietly goes away.

Paying for Affection

Do y’all remember that show on HBO a while back about strippers? I think it was called G-string Divas or something. It doesn’t really matter, I guess. The premise of the show was, well, naked women. It’s HBO after all. But the interesting thing that was going on in the show is that they’d talk [...]