David Duchovny, Why Don’t You Love Me?

The Front Porch over at Scarritt-Bennett asked for more copies of A City of Ghosts, which is, of course, awesome. While I was there, feeling a little burnt out at the end of this long, hot, grouchy week, the woman I was talking to remarked about how it’s been a really nice thing for them, [...]

Should Someone Go Explain Things to Representative Alexander?

You know, I’m kind of used to reading things about Tennessee politics that make my head cock to the side like a dog that hears a noise she can’t quite figure out. “Ba-roo?” I ask. But this may be, honest to god, the most baffling thing I’ve read all day. Here’s the background. Republicans put [...]

An Open Letter to Jonathan Franzen

Dear Jonathan Franzen, Sure, I would like to read your New York Times piece all about the hollow emptiness of today’s consumer culture. I mean, if I don’t read it, how will I ever know if it contains any awkward mentions of David Foster Wallace? How will I see whether you try to carry this [...]

It’s all in the eyes

Whew, doggie, too bad for y’all there’s no video of my attempt to walk the dog this morning. I was like a drunken sailor. The deal with the drops is that you put them in and then wait at least twenty minutes before you put your contacts in. Perfect, I thought. I’ll throw my glasses [...]

From Garth Brooks to Rihanna

If there’s one thing that is sure to send folks into a tizzy in popular music, it’s a song/video in which a woman kills an abusive man. Apoplexy from Garth Brooks’ “The Thunder Rolls” through “Independence Day” and “Good-bye Earl” to Rihanna’s new video. It’s funny to me the pearl-clutching that can still find traction [...]

Governor Baby is Mad at Sick Poor People

I swear, I may need to take a vacation from reading about our governor, because when I read shit like this, it makes me almost dizzy with rage. “Low-income recipients of care — and for that matter, consumers in general — don’t have ‘enough economic skin in the game, if you will,’ said Haslam.” The [...]

I’m Surly

I admit, I spent much of my morning gnawing on the splintery bone of bitterness. I feel like I’m fucking up in some way I can’t put my finger on–that there’s some obvious right thing to do and I cannot figure it out, therefore can’t do it. And I know that’s bullshit, but I still [...]

E-N-C-Y-C-L-O-P-E-D-I-A

All this talk of nicknames and the Butcher’s desire to be called by his full name reminded me that, when he was born, my dad taught my other brother and me how to spell the Butcher’s name using a reworked version of this song. It’s your brother, Bartholomew B-A-R-T-H-O-L-O-M-E-W And what can I say? It [...]

Y’all Want to Hear Something Gross?

Of course you do. Who the fuck would read my blog if they didn’t want to occasionally hear something gross? Okay, so I went to the eye doctor today, my eye doctor who is awesome, and I’m explaining to her all my eye crap and she’s like “Oh, my god, I can see it from [...]

I’m Rollin’, I’m Rollin’, I…

Y’all have probably already heard this song and danced around to it eight million times. But you know, I have to run out to the eye doctor and, on the off-chance you haven’t heard it and you want to dance around to something, or you have heard it, but you want to dance around again, [...]

White Sage

I put some of the white sage outside to harden off, which caused some that I thought was not going to sprout to sprout so I put all of the seedlings and potential seedlings outside. Lesson one of the white sage–it’s hard to get started from seed. Lesson two–it really likes to be hot. I [...]