Phillipses, Living and Dead, Plus Flowes and Lincoln

It Smells Bad Here

I’m home! And it smells bad. I don’t know if the dog has just been too cooped up for too long in here, because of the heat or what, but yuck. I am too tired to do anything about it, though. Tomorrow, I guess, I will try to get the house in a state of [...]

My Mad Bra-Fixing Skills

Oh, lord, these people are crazy. Cah-ray-zee. But I did manage to both be poked by an underwire and cram said underwire back into the bra it belongs to and get it sewn back into place. I should open a road-side stand where I do quicky bra repairs for women in need.

The Proposal

My dad “needed” me to go to Walgreen’s with him. On the way into Walgreen’s, he asked, “Don’t you want to have these troubles?” and I didn’t know what he meant. And then he said, “I don’t have any parishioners anymore. So there’s no one I care what they think. You should have a baby. [...]

I Miss My Dog and My Bed

I hear it’s as miserably hot in Tennessee as it is here in Illinois, but I am ready to be home. I’m familied out for sure. It’s good to see everyone, but, whew, there’s just a lot of togetherness and people behaving like they were born in barns. And I miss my dog and my [...]

Oh, Lincoln

Some idiot, and I’m not naming names, but she may be the one typing this–some idiot thought it would be a good idea to go to New Salem today and show the nephews the exciting world of Lincoln. The heat index in Springfield was 110. And it was not a dry heat. The boys now [...]

I’m Not The Only One Who’s Noticed

Me. Peter Cooper.

The Relative Trend

Luke and Patience had Almira next to them. Oscar and Mary had William with them. Frank and Ina Mae had Carroll next to them. Hick and Avis have my uncle B. to their right. And my Uncle B. and Aunt C. already have my cousin in their plot.

Here They Are

…and There They Were

My mom went with me on my great cross-Michigan trip to Pontiac and outside of Potterville. And there was this moment, when I was standing in the Oak Hill Cemetery in Pontiac, with Luke and Patience’s grave in front of me, when I was overcome. I was just talking out loud to them, even with [...]

Pure Michigan

It is here and I am here and though I had to regroup in the Coldwater Rest Area before I could come into town, I am here now and tomorrow is dead relatives. Say what you want about our family, we do have good dogs.

Back in the Good Old Days When Wild Animals Ate Our Babies

Oh, lord, people. This Mrs. Ernesberger you may remember from our discussion of the mysterious William Phillips, since he was living with her in 1880. So, when she says that her mom used to sing this all the time, that’s Patience Phillips, my third-great-grandma. I can’t even tell you how much it tickles me to [...]

Doot-doot-doo Finding all My Dead People Doot-doot-doo

In my very productive last twenty minutes I discovered that Oscar Phillips is in the Gresham Cemetery up outside of Charlotte, Michigan (pronounce shar-LOT, not SHAR-lett) with a bunch of our relatives and not in Marshall, where he died. And the woman I called in Pontiac found me right where Luke and Patience are in [...]

One Foot in Front of the Other

I have been in the office since 7:30. I will probably not leave here before 5 unless I can figure out some way to sneak home between my two phone calls this afternoon and do the last one from my couch. But it is not yesterday. And that makes all of the difference. Tomorrow is [...]

Salon @ 615

S. and I went last night to the library for their Salon @ 615 series with Adam Ross. First, I could not say enough good things about the Salon itself. The library is beautiful. The staff is friendly and helpful and seems genuinely excited to have people there for the event. Plus there was food. [...]

Oh, Ha ha, Day, Very Funny

This day, I tell you. It’s just been a giant bag of stupid. There are great advantages to bureaucracies, but there are great drawbacks. My morning was just me getting caught in the great drawbacks. But I did learn that there might be an office who can help me navigate the parts of the bureaucracy [...]

In Anticipation of The Witch’s Friend

People, I am so giddy about this story. I actually think the draft is in pretty good shape. I’ve made some cuts and I want to spend a little more time making sure the actual “zombie in the house & yard” moment has the right pacing, though, in all honestly, I’m not sure how to [...]

Living in the Swamp

This story puts me in the mind of the Seminoles, who were like “Fuck it, come in and get us, if you can” and the story I heard once of New Africa, Mississippi, a community in the swampy part of the Delta south of Clarksville. Though, I swear, I have been up and down New [...]

Harlan Howard Says “Hello”

We went out to review a park this morning and the park wasn’t very big so I thought I’d swing by the city cemetery and see all the wooden markers they claimed they were putting up. I didn’t find any. But we did see Harlan Howard’s grave. Then we came home and I took some [...]

My nephew got a new ‘do for the 4th

Face to Face with a Coyote

The dog wanted to go out, so I opened the door to let her out and I heard that the dogs across the street were barking up a storm. And then, out of the woods by the creek on their side, a coyote came! And people, he did this weird little leaping dance thing like [...]

BREAKING–Governor Baby Still Feels Really Bad

Someone should tell the governor that, no matter how many times he trots out his whole “it was hard” speech about choosing to discriminate against gay people, he still owns it. I would love to hear from some Democrats for Haslam how that’s going for them. But, you know, the thing that burns is that [...]

A Not Unpleasant Trip to Wal-mart

I needed crap for my trip–like small bottles of shampoo and shit–so I was forced to go to Wal-mart. And I found parking without too much trouble and found everything I needed pretty conveniently, and I got checked out in a timely manner. And things appeared to be clean and the staff did not seem [...]

In Other Phillips News

My nephews were here. They are hilarious. And they found the Butcher’s secret stash of ice cream sandwiches he’d hidden in the freezer behind a frozen pizza! My god, I now see why people have children. They find all the cool shit in the house someone is trying to hide. Luckily for the Butcher, they [...]

If You’re Missing a Spare William Phillips, I Found Him

The Phillipses are gearing up for my visit next week. My uncle is cleaning out the basement to try to decide what family heirlooms he wants to give to me and also whether I have accounted for all the dead people he might know. Handily enough, he seems to be having some real estate transactions [...]