The Times I Wish I was a Police Officer

1. When people fly by me on Lloyd even though the speed limit is clearly posted as 30 mph. 2. When I’m attempting to cross the road at the crosswalk with flashing lights on Broadway and a truck is turning left down by the convenience store, which should mean that I only have to worry [...]

Why I Think all these “Concerns” about Christie’s Health are in fact Just Bigotry

I don’t know if you’ve heard, but Chris Christie is fat and this should disqualify him from being president at least until he’s thinner because everyone knows that being fat is unhealthy. Some people wonder if being fat is more of a disqualification than being depressed. Here’s why I think it is just bullshit “I’m [...]

Couple of Good Ones at Pith Today

It’s weird. I never worry about how hit or miss things might be here, but a few misses in a row at Pith has me worried Jim Ridley is rolling his eyes somewhere. But today, I’m talking about Tennessee mandating teaching kids a form of birth control with an 80% failure rate among its most [...]

I am an Ill-Informed Psychic!

IBMA does have an entertainer of the year, which, sadly Dale Ann Bradley did not get (though Steve Martin did, which is fun), but she did get female vocalist of the year again! And people bring her cornbread. Which I find to be the least surprising revelation in the history of revelations.

The Least Sexy Sex Between Superheroes

I have so many thoughts on the whole DC comics mess, because I believe it’s been the most awesome conversation of at least the latter half of the month. But I am still a little stuck on Catwoman. Not just on her gravity defying boob or her bizarre choice in undergarments (I mean, seriously, they [...]

Tricked

This story could not be more bullshitty, at every level, from calling a transgender woman a “cross-dresser” to misrepresenting her gender and so on. But I’ve been thinking about this story since I read it this morning. Often, when transgender women who are working as prostitutes are killed, there’s a kind of “gay panic” defense–”I [...]

I Wish It Were Bill Monroe’s 100th Birthday all the Time

So, by weird happenstance, I won tickets to the Bill Monroe birthday tribute last night at Vanderbilt. I guess it’s not weird. But it felt weird to me, because I don’t often win things. And by “often” I mean “ever.” I couldn’t find anyone to go with me on such short notice, but I’m getting [...]

Mrs. W. Develops a Strange New Quirk

She acted utterly convinced that the HVAC guy was going to eat her food. She stood by her food, guarding it from him with ferocious barks. She ate as much of her food as she could. And then, she followed him around giving him the stink-eye. In my dog’s whole life, she has never, ever [...]

Energy Better Hit Me, Soon

I’m at the house, so that I can meet the air conditioning guy. I got to the house this early so that I could pick up a little before he got here. Instead, I’ve been answering emails and playing on the computer. Because, obviously, answering emails and playing on the computer are far more fun [...]

Let’s Just Call Them ‘Values’

Over at Out of the Blue today, Tony Marks is talking about Tennessee Democrats as superheroes. It’s very lovely. Except this part: “First, I created ‘Tennessee Democrat’ to focus instead on what we do have, an identity rooted in the Southern values of hard work, fairness, community, and compassion.” These are now particularly Southern values? [...]

I’m Feeling a Little Cheated by the Bordeaux Library

It’s fine. Really. But I’m just not seeing this kind of behavior among my librarians. Um, I guess that link is probably not safe for work. Unless you work at a library, where apparently things are at a level of sexiness surpassed only by fire stations. But this begs the question. Why are firefighters sexier [...]

The Sun is Shining

I went down to the Corner Pub for lunch because I needed to hide from everyone for a little bit. And I sat in the window and ate their crinkly fries and half a burger. Their burgers are way, way too big. But Mrs. Wigglebottom will be happy and I was happy to have the [...]

Does Sarah Palin Know that Discovery Works Both Ways?

I have mixed feelings about the Joe McGinness book about Sarah Palin ranging from “I don’t care” to “that seems like a cheap shot” to “has anyone in the media read this before dismissing it?” Which is not to say that I want to read it, but I find there to be something weird about [...]

Prologues and the Gals who Write Them

So, my idea for the Allen project is to have a prologue that gives you a lot of information you need to understand what’s happening in later in the book without it being clear that that’s what’s happening. I guess I can spoil y’all now since… ugh… let’s not even talk about other projects. Just [...]

Lou Reed and Metallica

I was driving home from work today and the DJ was all “I have here the new Lou Reed/Metallica song. I haven’t even listened to it yet. Let’s put it in and see how it goes.” He plays it. My face makes a grimace all on its own and the grimace stays there the whole [...]

Woman Things

1. You know, I’m glad comic book artists have taken into consideration complaints that women’s boobs in comic books are too round and point too often towards a woman’s face when they should be making their way towards her feet in an elegant teardrop shape. But trust me, comic book artists, when you’re hanging upside [...]

Two Cheesy Things I Discovered This Weekend

When you’re laying around sick for three days, it’s not all swinging in the hammock and playing “Am I going to barf or shit?” (No, I know, that I even got to do some of that is jealousy inducing.) Sometimes, you’re just sitting on the couch trying to pass the time between the exciting stuff. [...]

Sick Day–the Recuperation

I tried to pretend like I wasn’t still sick this morning. I went and did my park and came home and did a load of dishes. By the time I was done doing the dishes, I was sweating so bad that you’d have thought I ran a marathon. So, clearly not done being sick. I [...]

I’m Out Sick One Day and the World Goes Wacky?!

I’m a little bummed because I liked my life in whatever parallel universe I lived in up until yesterday. It’ll be weird if the Mrs. Wigglebottom in this universe is suddenly well-behaved or if my dad has blond hair or if my brother is a hair-dresser or something. But I’m kind of digging the changes [...]

I Have Made It to the Couch

So, sleeping for ten hours seems to have made a dent in the “feeling exhausted” symptom. And not standing up keeps me from being dizzy. I may have to experiment with whether lying down on the couch make me less nauseous, but “All Girls on the Couch” times are so rare that I hate to [...]

Why I Love Nashville

This post over at Pith pretty much sums it up. I love a city where people are such assholes and where the people who work for the city are so hilarious about it. I think I’m getting sick. I thought that migraine the other day was just a stand-alone issue, but ever since then I’ve [...]

Well, At Least It Wasn’t That Much Booing?

I’m still trying to process this whole “and now we boo at the military” and “and now we politicians don’t even bother to thank a dude for his service” change in the Republican party. I’m liberal, so I’m used to there being some jackasses in our crowds who don’t know how to comport themselves. And [...]

Two Cool Things

1. Another Nashville writer at Qarrtsiluni! And she’s writing about Piggly Wiggly, which means she’s writing about Dickerson Pike. But I must say, I realized upon reading this that I don’t really consider Dickerson Pike to be East Nashville. I mean, yes, technically. But I feel like maybe it should have its own name. 2. [...]

Grandma A.

My Uncle B. sent me this picture of my Grandma A. He says it’s her high school graduation picture, which would make her, I think 15 or 16. Did I ever tell you about this? My grandma was the youngest in her family and she blew threw all her studies at the one-room school house [...]

What If Kids Today Do Not Suck?

No, I know. Impossible. Have I heard their stupid music? Do I not know how they think “everything the [sic] do is somehow worthy of being posted on Facebook & Twitter & Tumblr. They have grown up with an audience for their every banality and expect it. They are vain and shallow. Believe me, I [...]