An Open Letter to Jack McElroy

Dear Jack, You are wrong. Wrong, wrong, wrongity, wrong, wrong, wrong. And someday one of your reporters may need you to take the State of Tennessee to school, so you need to get right on this. But so what if Meador was a reporter? The First Amendment protects press freedom, but it doesn’t grant journalists [...]

More Spooky Stuff

Man, if this isn’t some of the best use of scrolling, I just don’t know what is. I feel like I may have seen another one of her stories, too, but I can’t remember. Oh, oh, yes! This one.

Halloween!

Yes, I know, you already read these a million times. But it’s Halloween! It’s time for creepy things! So, here’s what I have to offer: “Bone“–Two supernatural entities walk into a bar and the bartender says… “Frank“–An evil doctor’s zombie henchman teaches a woman to drive. “The Witch’s Friend“–A little girl, a grandma, a god, [...]

I Don’t Think You Can Take a Train to Clarksville Any More Anyway

My favorite thing about this video, other than the baby with the mustached guys, is that, though the band could sure enough have shot this video in Clarksville, which is right up the road from Nashville, they clearly filmed it in Nashville and out at the Natchez Trace. By the time you get from downtown [...]

Happy Birthday, Butcher!

It’s the Butcher’s birthday today. He’s 31. That doesn’t freak me out as much as our other brother being 35, since I was 35 just last week. But here we are, my other brother and I hurtling towards old age, the Butcher tagging along far behind. All things considered, I lucked out in the brother [...]

More About the Reporter They Arrested

You remember that earlier this evening the THP sent out an email accusing Jonathan Meador of being so drunk that he “appeared to be intoxicated and unable to care for himself.” Meador was able to videotape his arrest. Judge for yourself how intoxicated and unable to care for himself he seems. The second I saw [...]

Second of Nine

I set off all the smoke alarms. This is why I’m not a Wiccan, right there. Ha ha ha.

When Cheaters Prosper

SouthComm CEO Chris Ferrell has sent a boot-in-your-ass letter to Alexia Poe, the Governor’s Director of Communications: I expect the Governor to publicly apologize to him for this violation of his rights and to assure the people of Tennessee that this administration will not interfere with the right to a free press that has been [...]

Can a Book Be both Bad and Amazing?

I just finished Chuck Palahniuk’s Damned and it is not good. The pacing’s all off. Some things are too repetitious and there’s a conceit at the end that seems designed solely to excuse the book–it’s not Chuck’s bad writing, it’s Satan’s. I couldn’t get into the book at all because the narrator just did not [...]

Welcome to Tennessee–Where the First Amendment is 2/3 Null and Void

After arresting protesters for peaceably assembling on Thursday night, Governor Haslam upped the ante by arresting protesters for peaceably assembling and arresting a Scene reporter who was there covering it. On Twitter, they were also saying that a Fox 17 camera person was injured, but I can’t find confirmation of that this morning. I’m going [...]

Why Haslam’s Response to Occupy Nashville Should Concern Lawmakers

From The Tennessean: “If we’re going to have laws, we have to enforce laws,” Haslam said. A rule you made up yesterday is not a law. If the governor doesn’t understand who makes the laws and how they come into being, maybe some legislators from his party need to sit him down and explain it [...]

Honestly, This Should Concern Everyone in Nashville

Woods has an extended excerpt from Gibbons’ press conference today. Let me just highlight this: Well, really that’s something you need to ask General Services. I’m aware generally of the reasons and that was public safety and health conditions on the Plaza. And I am aware of the fact that representatives of the protesters themselves [...]

Occupy Nashville Should Go Federal

I don’t know who any of the Occupy Nashville people are because I’m grouchy and hate crowds and doing crowd-like activities. But I want to point out that the people in Occupy Atlanta moved to federal land because it’s tougher for the city to evict them from it. Our federal courthouse is at 8th and [...]

My Correspondence with the Governor’s Office

This morning I wrote: Dear Governor Haslam, Setting time limits and monetary requirements on when people are allowed to gather on taxpayer-funded state property to exercise their first amendment right to peaceably assemble and petition the government for a redress of grievances is unconstitutional. Having people arrested for not following your unconstitutional rules is morally [...]

It Must Be So Awesome to be a Rich Person in Tennessee

Last night on Channel 5, they aired a story about how all entertainers and sports figures and people who are friends with people in the government need to do in order to get a THP escort anywhere is call and ask. And then the taxpayers pay for it. Yes, if you are Joe Rockstar and [...]

Phillips Family Excitement

I got a phone call this morning. Right as I was getting in the shower. It sounded suspiciously like the voice my dad used when he pretended to be my Great Grandpa Frank. I should back up. I sent a letter on Monday to the grandson of Barlow Phillips, who is alive, still, and living [...]

The Terrifying True Story of The Thing!

I had such a good time writing this. And it’s going to be in the real paper! With photographs! I have to give it up for whoever took the picture of the credit union, because they actually found a way to make it look almost ominous. I have to remember to pick up some copies [...]

This is Not Just What I Look Like

One of the reasons that I get so excited about being distantly related to Lizzie Borden or Jonathan Moulton or whomever is that when I was growing up in these small towns where everyone was related to everyone, of course, we were related to no one. We had cousins, but they were all in Michigan. [...]

The Small Rebellion of Being Who You Are

So, Ryan wrote this really beautiful post on how he was kind of caught off-kilter by his emotional response to seeing Chas Bono on Dancing with the Stars. My personal reaction to Chaz has surprised me.  I didn’t expect to feel emotional about it, I didn’t expect to feel as invested as I have in [...]

So, We’re Going to Average One a Week, I Guess?

Now it’s a World War II vet.

Gearing Up

It’s a kind of funny loop. I’m feeling good and sociable and excited because I have this nine-night doohickey set aside for woo-woo stuff, which means that folks are coming out of the woodwork to be all “let’s do dinner!” The Man from GM is coming through on Sunday. My parents will be here on [...]

My 6th Cousin 4x Removed

Oh, New Englanders. Is there anyone you aren’t going to prove me eventually related to? In this case… So, that makes a guy who sold his soul to the devil, the bad guys in The Crucible, and the most infamous ax murderer in American history.

I Have to Join a Cult Before They’ll Mutilate Me

My trip to the doctor this morning was fine, except for the whole “you’re fat” part. I got to hear about the wonders of Weight Watchers and I got told that she wouldn’t recommend me for lap band surgery until I had tried on my own to lose weight. It was as if you thought [...]

The Polk Building

Oh, I forgot I was saving up this weirdness from the Southern Festival of Books to tell you at Halloween time! And now it’s time. Okay, so I’m reading and I finish and I’m kind of standing there, talking to people and signing a book, when a woman comes up to me and asks me [...]

Book Club!

I skyped in to a book club this evening, who was reading A City of Ghosts for October. It was really neat. They had good questions and were really nice about the book. And they seemed to like it, so that was awesome. Technology is really amazing. I can sit in a room here and [...]