“Resident Spook Expert”

I wonder if I can put that on my resume?

Another Reason Not to Molest Children

I mean, my god, if you can’t refrain from molesting children because it’s wrong and illegal and an incredible abuse of power and unbelievably damaging to the kids, the least you can do is not molest children so that you won’t have to be upset when you friends who cover for you have some hard [...]

The Witch’s Teat

I had a thought when I was driving into work this morning. I’ve still been thinking about that Alva Noë piece at NPR and this idea that you can tell something about the state of my soul and make sweeping generalizations about how I can fix my body based on fixing my soul. I’ve long [...]

Was Crowley a Serial Killer?

Honestly, upon reading this, all I could think was how fucking awesome it is that Crowley, who by all rights should have just been born, lived, and died as, I don’t know, a professor or someone else who’s smart but we’ve never heard of, is still being blamed for spectacularly evil things. I both think [...]

Reheating a Hamburger

People, this trying to save money so I can finally pay off my credit card crap is going to kill me. Today, for lunch, I have to look forward to half a hamburger from Red Robin, which I am going to attempt to reheat at work. Never in my life have I attempted to reheat [...]

Briefly, Yep.

You knew 8 was not enough. Um. No play on words intended, but it’s late and I’m tired and I knew there had to be more victims.

Interesting Republican Problems

We were talking about Mitt Romney at lunch yesterday and it seems to me that he represents a real problem for the Republican establishment. The base isn’t thrilled about him, but he’s so obviously the best candidate. Here’s what I think the Republican dilemma is. There are large segments of the American public who consistently [...]

Is This Better or Worse?

Apparently people are fat because we’re just not as spiritually enlightened as thin people. Thanks, NPR! It’s not like I don’t already hear about how unhealthy I am, how gross I am, how undisciplined I am, how unlovable I am, etc. etc. etc. Now I’m out of touch with my own soul. It’s interesting, in [...]

More on the Things I’ve Been Following

1. I push my radical “Let’s train people for the open jobs” agenda at Pith. 2. I understand Paterno’s “I did nothing wrong” strategy, almost. But it strains credulity that Paterno would have had an assistant and that assistant’s father show up to his house on a Saturday, report that Sandusky was doing “something” with [...]

People of Missouri,I Have Had It With You!

Before I get started on my righteous rant against you Missourians, let me just say that my dad called yesterday and he and my mom went and had lunch at my youngest nephew’s school. They had to sit at the little tables! Why are there no pictures?! Okay, Missourians, I am calling you out! The [...]

Satan is Busy

–I have been trying to come up with something clever to say about this post, but I just can’t think of anything. It did make me laugh. Anton LaVey’s best publicity has always been people freaking about about him. –Halfway through this episode of Beavis and Butthead, they start making fun of a young “Nashville” [...]

More on the Penn State Scandal

I just a little fixated on this story now. I think the thing that just won’t let me go of it is that so very many people had to know something was hinky, so very many people did know something was hinky, and on and on and on it went. And I do not believe [...]

I’m Not Jewish, But…

I can think of a pretty big reason Jewish people might not enjoy reading thinly veiled allegories about Christ and it’s not because they’re fantasy and Jews are, because of their religious upbringing, more prone to science fiction than fantasy (people, I just paraphrase what people are saying; I don’t claim to understand it). Call [...]

A Weekend of Cool Things

Yes, I spent the whole weekend having trouble taking non-sucky pictures of cool things.

“Victim 8′s Identity is Unknown.”

I’m not big on trigger warnings, since I think it’s hard to anticipate what readers might find triggering to read. But I want to say, up front, that reading the materials I’m about to discuss in this post, I literally felt dizzy and nauseous. So, yes, this is some shitty, shitty stuff I’m about to [...]

The Salem Witch Trials and Me

So, I just went back to my Ancestry.com account to make sure I had the name of Sue’s step-dad right and that it was the same as the guy the lady mentioned today. Okay, fine. Someone had added more information to Mary Walcott, did I want to add it to my tree? Mary Walcott and [...]

The City Cemetery

I spent my beautiful afternoon on the historical tour of the city cemetery. I was pretty much morally obliged to go because Jack Macon was one of the historical people this year. And the guy doing him was great! Younger than I imagine Dr Jack, but still, build like I imagine, with just the right [...]

Holy Cow, Is This Stupid

I hope, with all my heart, that this is like the tales of the rainbow parties where kids give blowjobs in such a way as to leave rings of different kinds of lipstick on a dude’s penis (which, really, should have been a tip that this was not really happening since “I am going to [...]

Cannot Get Moving

I just cannot get moving this morning. I want to be down to the city cemetery for their historical thing early because they’re featuring Jack Macon and you know I have to go support that. But I’m still in my pajamas. And I’m having a leisurely morning farting around on the internet. I heard back [...]

The Proportion of Haters Remains the Same

I’ve been following the ongoing discussion of the ways jerks on the internet are especially vile to women. Like Digby had a commenter who once told her that she wrote a lot better before she “came out as a woman.” And I don’t think I’ll ever forget when one of the usual trolls at Post [...]

Ron Ramsey Thinks Times aren’t Bad Enough

Honestly, it’s as if Ron Ramsey were like “Oh my god! Governor Baby is getting all this attention for being a big dick. I had better go on out there and be a big dick myself, lest anyone forget that I exist.” (Note: Ron Ramsey doesn’t actually use words like “lest” because he hates the [...]

Oh, People are Fat Because They’re Stupid. Now It All Makes Sense.

See, this is what I mean when you say that you can’t be sorry enough for being fat. Even if you are all “Oh, great! I’d love to eat better. Give me some cooking tips!” it’s turned into “Oh, see? Bless their hearts, they just don’t know. They’re stupid and we have to teach them.” [...]

Seven or When Woo Goes Stupid

Last night was not elegant. Regardless of what westernized brand of pagan you are, there are certain elements you’re going to find in most rituals–candles, possibly a circle of some sort, something smelly (in this case incense), and something liquid (in this case water). My candles wouldn’t stay lit and since I was using them [...]

Purity Dairy, Save Me!

My doctor’s office called me yesterday to tell me that I am Vitamin D deficient. I had two thoughts in this order: 1. But I drink a lot of milk! and 2. God damn it, the lights in my windowless office are supposed to be those stupid therapeutic full spectrum lights. I guess that’s bullshit. [...]

I Always Spell It Wrong, Too

When I first moved down here, I certainly wanted to spell it Murfeesboro. And then, when I heard how old men from there said it, like a cold engine turning over–Murrr-friss-BUH-RUH–I added the “r” but am still Hell-bent on spelling it Murphreesboro. At this point, Tennessee, I feel like yous should just change the spelling [...]