It’s funny. This very weekend, someone on Twitter was complaining about Jennifer Weiner complaining about not being taken seriously as a writer because of her genre. The Twitter complainer made some claims about how some genres were just more likely to birth important novels–like, say, sci-fi, because it deals with ideas. Plus, if Weiner wants to be taken seriously, she should write for some real publications, even if only Entertainment Weekly, rather than Allure.
And I bit my tongue because I had other things to do this weekend than play internet feminist. But come on! If that’s not a line of thought for feminists to giggle over, I just don’t know what is!
Anyway, that’s just the cherry on the sundae of this delicious piece by Weiner in Allure, which made me cry at the end. I simply cannot think of a “legitimate” magazine–Entertainment Weekly? The Atlantic? What?–that would run a story like this, as raw as this is, and as beautiful. It seems strange to me, and obviously sexist, to say that this piece, in this place, is just obviously not that important.
As for the piece itself, I have to say, when it ended, I thought, I am not sure I could be that generous to that kid. I am almost certain that this would be a moment when I would fail as a parent, because it would be a moment when I looked at my kid and was like “Fuck you, you little monster.” Probably only in my head, but I would be repulsed. I literally cannot imagine having the skills to deal with this in any way close to how Weiner does.
Oh my god to all of this…the sexist bullshit, the piece itself, the personal concern I also have about whether I would handle the situation this gracefully.
I am unapologetic about loving Jennifer Weiner. I started reading her first book at *just* the right time in my life and it made me do a lot of examining of myself and my attitudes (some of which were unfortunately familial). And it made a difference. Jennifer’s writing caused me to adjust my thinking and I’ll always be grateful to her for that.
I firmly believe thinking your kid is a ‘little monster’ is a pretty common parental occurence. Kids most definitely are little monsters. I think ‘monster’ is the natural state of humanity and the only way to gentle that is empathy. Sadly, empathy doesn’t kick in until a person has been dumped on a few times. (I seem to recall reading that it’s mid 20′s.)
The ‘fuck you’ part… that gets squashed when you realize it’s your responsibility to teach them better than that until they grow their own empathy.
Yeah, I think I’d be prepared for how terrible kids can be to each other and to their parents. I was a kid. I remember that. I see it with my nephews.
But as questionable adults as we Phillipses might make, we’re pretty cool kids. I could mentally prepare for “This child is a ridiculous nightmare at home.” I don’t know how I’d handle realizing that she’s another child’s ridiculous nightmare.
I mean, I hope Weiner is able to just make her kid feel bad and that gets her to stop. But the bullies I remember at school could be quite lovely to their parents and other adults, which made it very difficult for their victims to be believed.
I’d want some way of knowing that she really got that she can’t go around terrorizing people, even other girls she’s mad at.