Rattling Bones

–I’ve been working diligently on Rachel’s afghan. I’m doing it backwards from the one I made me. I’m making all 212 small squares at once–even the ones that will serve as the innards for the bigger squares. Then I’ll do all the squares that get a second stripe. Then all the ones that get a third. Her afghan is a lot more full of blues and greens, so I’m excited to see how it comes together. It contains a really bright orange, which is either going to work amazingly or not at all.

–I’m struggling with the story I’m working on for Project X. I have started it twice now and neither start is exactly right. They both might make interesting stories, but they aren’t right for this project.

–So the dog and I went out and drove down Haunt Hollow Road, which Grandfille told me about. It is not in a hollow, which is kind of weird, but it does run through some really nice farmland and it does contain a high cemetery to road ratio. We stopped at the only church on the road and it had a historical marker, which Mrs. Wigglebottom was completely uninterested in. However, the marker said that the church was probably the oldest in the county (though I’m not sure what county we were in) and that the original building had twelve corners in honor of the twelve disciples. But it was completely silent on whether this meant that the building was a dodecagon or how it was configured to have twelve corners otherwise. What the fuck, historical marker? How can you leave out this vital information?

–You know that old joke about the shipwrecked Baptist (this is literally my favorite joke, ever)? He’s marooned on an island and finally, after ten years, he’s rescued by a passing ship. The captain is all “This is unbelievable! How did you survive?” and the Baptist credits God for providing him everything he needed. He shows the Captain where he found fish and fruit and how he found downed trees to make shelter from. “And I made this church to worship in and give thanks to the Creator.” He said. And the Captain’s all “Wow, okay. So, my only question is what’s that other building?” “Oh, that’s where I used to go to church.”

I thought of that joke and had a little snicker at it because this Baptist church, which used to be twelve-cornered, according to the historical marker, split–as Baptist churches are wont to do–and the two congregations just kept using the same church. Just apparently scheduled services for different times. I have to tell you that I find that so charming that I almost can’t stand it.

–I drove the new part of 840. I don’t recommend it to people who need to use the bathroom or would like a snack. At least, not yet.

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5 thoughts on “Rattling Bones

  1. Jews have that same joke, only the two synagogues are the one the shipwrecked man attends and the one he will NEVER, EVER, not even over his dead body, set foot in.

  2. Catholics also have a version of this joke…the other church is the one he went to when he lived on the other side of the island. (Is this joke a religious universal?)

  3. I love that it’s such a simple way of telling you something about how the teller thinks of the group at the heart of the story. I wish I knew a Methodist one, instead of one that just picks on Baptists. I imagine the Methodist punchline would be something like the captain going “Wow, all of your buildings are in great repair except that one. What’s that?” “Oh, that’s my church. The Board of Trustees is kind of a problem.”

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