Some Weird Club I Accidentally Joined

Sadie was not even cold when the first person said to me, “We deal with a lot of rescue organizations. When you’re ready for another dog, let us know.” I know Sadie wasn’t cold, because she was still on my couch, wrapped in an old purple quilt. That weekend, when someone tried to tell me about how great pit bulls were, I said that I knew, I used to have one and they said, “Keep us in mind when you’re ready for another one.”

If you are, demonstrably, not a jerk to pit bulls, someone is always looking to hand you one.

I’m not ready. At all.

I was thrilled that the Butcher’s dog-friend came by this morning (and can we just talk for a second about how that dude lost the genetic lottery. This is what they tell you a labradoodle looks like. The Butcher’s dog-friend looks like a very narrow lab. No curly hypo-allergenic hair. Just a two-dimensional black lab. He turns front on and you can’t see him. He doesn’t seem to be non-smelly and I doubt he’s hypoallergenic. But that must happen often–that you get a labradoodle that takes more after the lab part, but he’s the only one I’ve seen.) but after he left, I just felt kind of drained. Like how could we go through all this again?

But man, it hurts my heart to know there are so many good dogs out there looking for homes.

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9 thoughts on “Some Weird Club I Accidentally Joined

  1. Hey. It took me a year and a half before I was ready for another dog, and three and a half years before i was ready for a dog the same breed as Casey. And even after I thought I was ready there were, oh, roughly 85% of the days during the first year where I seriously questioned my readiness. Now that “puppy” is over and we are officially a year old I’m good with it. But all told that’s NEARLY FIVE YEARS. It’s a process.

    I still think it’s halfway between weird and cruel to buttonhole a grieving person about acquiring a new dog.

  2. To me, it feels like more a statement on just how dire the circumstances are for most pit bulls. That, as soon as a couch has an opening, there are tons of them who need a good couch to nap on.

    I just don’t, honestly, know if I want another pit bull. I don’t know anything about another dog yet. Like I said, I’m completely not ready.

    I need it to not feel like I’m just looking to fill the space Sadie left. And that’s just not the case at the moment.

  3. Holy crap! I just got back from the bathroom and there was another pitbull offer!

    I want to laugh and cry. It hasn’t even been two weeks. I’m still in the raw hurting stage. Please, people, hold off on offering me dogs.

  4. it’s been almost two years since I had to put my precious kitty to sleep due to terminal illness. People offer me cats & kittens and my response is the same: I’m not ready.

    Although I know I did the compassionate thing, having to make the choice I made wrecked my soul. I’m not sure I could do that again. At least not anytime soon, I don’t think.

  5. The sad thing is that there will always be dogs needing a good home. So time can be taken.

    And I hope these offers are being made with the knowledge that you might not be ready yet. “Heard your dog’s dead, here’s a replacement!” would make me want to scream with either rage or grief.

  6. It took us 3 1/2 years before we were ready to get another dog. And like the person above, the puppy stage caused lots of buyers remorse LOL but it was the right thing to do.
    Only you can know when you are ready again.

  7. One aggravation about getting a new puppy was the fact that we contacted several rescue organizations and could never get any response to our requests to adopt.
    We finally went to the Humane Society shelter.

  8. People have, in general, been very kind about it. I think it’s obvious that we’re both utterly hearbroken about Sadie’s death and people mean to help us alleviate our suffering.

    But I don’t want a replacement for Sadie. I want to grieve her loss and then have a new wonderful dog I’m not constantly comparing to her. I want the new dog, when the time comes, to be its own dog, not a replacement for a dog I love.

  9. That’s why when we did end up going with a new dog we went the total opposite route at first. We went from a 95lb working dog to an 11lb lap dog. The dog chose us.

    What really has been a surprise for me is that now we have Gus–another Berner, same breed as the one we lost to cancer–is that even though they’re the same breed the personalities are so different. I do think at first that was one of the more difficult initial adjustments…to have a dog that LOOKED the same but was so completely different. Now I appreciate it fully because it has made it much easier to bond with him on our own terms. It’s not a do-over but a going-on. And it takes a long damn time for your heart to get there. Even now when I hold one of my kids i’m acutely aware of the fact that it will invariably end in profound grief. I wish I had better words than “I really understand” but I don’t. Just know that I really do understand and that i know that horrible dull ache interrupted with the stinging pain of “he loved to lick the spoon” when you’re making cookies six months later.

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