The Problem, As I See It

I literally did not leave the house all weekend. Granted, the weather was crappy and I had squares to crochet and words to write and I did all that and felt very accomplished. But I didn’t leave the house all weekend. I had a good excuse.

But I barely left the house last weekend. And the weather was lovely. And yes, I had a good excuse. I was “recharging” from Thanksgiving.

But the weekend before that, when I was “gearing up for Thanksgiving”? I left the house once.

I am content to sit in the house. I am content to make no plans or as few a plans as I can get away with and thus see few of the people who I like and care about. And, should they notice, I can truthfully say that I’m fine, because I am fine. I’m just fine in a way that is less rich than usual.

I haven’t read a book since Sadie died. I don’t have any good fiction ideas. I’ve only written one story.

And the time when I mull things over? My walks? They’re kind of not working for me.

I am not ready in my heart for another dog. But I’m starting to be concerned about what happens to the rest of my life while my heart dithers.

And I’m starting to wonder if I’m just not respecting the Year of Things I Feel Ambiguously About by expecting the question of whether the time is right to get another dog to be answered unambiguously.

In related news, we learned of a yellow lab in need of a home.

 

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5 thoughts on “The Problem, As I See It

  1. I know so much how you feel. Looking back at my life, I see that I usually last three months after my last best buddy dies, before I’m looking to bring home another one. It starts with my head: “My dogs are my outward-facing self. They keep me moving” and: “There are a lot of good dogs that need a home.” Then, eventually, my heart tags along… That’s just me, but I think if you pay attention and keep an open heart, you’ll be okay. Best of luck to you.

  2. I’ve found the same thing, if I wait to get a dog until the grieving is better, my health (mostly my tendency to leave the house when I don’t have to) suffers. It really suffered this last time, I think I waited to long.

    I should have fostered for a rescue group or shelter in between dogs. Though fostering is not for everyone, either. You might be able to walk dogs for a neighbor or local group, and get the benefit of walking with a dog. (Maybe the Butcher’s dog friend?) I think better with a dog or two on walks too.

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