My Secret Identity

Oh, I forgot to tell you the weirdest, funniest part of this whole thing so far.  So, I’m talking on the phone with the banker, going over my credit report and she’s asking me about this charge and about that charge and there, on my credit report, is a loan of my mom’s and my [...]

My Dad Predicts the Future

So, my dad calls me up to tell me that a.) they’ve found a house to rent while my mom finishes up her thirty years; b.) that my birthday presents should start dribbling in at any time now; and c.) that, if I want some of their furniture to fill my house with, I’d better [...]

Cringe-worthy Goodness

So, my dad just called to bug me about going to the bank and he was all like “The Butcher’s gay friend knows the woman who does mortgages for people who are employed where you’re employed” and I use the word “like” because, clearly, those are not his exact words, but I bring them up [...]

The Butcher Goes to Help My Dad

I always get anxious when the Butcher leaves.  And so I’m anxious, because he’s leaving tomorrow.  It will be fine.  It always is.  But still.  I worry he’ll do something stupid or something bad will happen.  I’m not one of those people who gets bad feelings and so the absense of any nagging bad feeling [...]

Here, Ginger! I did it.

Ginger signed me up for this crap and I’m obliging because I like her and because I had a Diet Dr Pepper and cookies for dinner at about 8 and I’m not yet tired.
Here’s the drill:
** Post about the meme and link back to the person that tagged you.
** Go back to your archives and [...]

In Which I Say Something I’m Bound to Live to Regret

My dad just called.  He’s alone in the house up in Illinois and he’s wondering if I remembered to put his pain pill in his morning medicine (which I laid out for the week before I left).
My uncle didn’t come, because he’s sick and doesn’t want to risk getting my dad sick.
And I wish my [...]

A Bad Case of Churchinial Delinquency

Nobody in my family’s going to church!  Mom is practically giggling like a school girl and is going to change into something more comfortable “darn it.”
Which, I guess, means that, not only aren’t we going to church, Mom’s going to start using strong language*.
Next thing you know, we’ll start eating without praying and, after that, [...]

The Boy in the Bathroom

Found in my parents’ bathroom:

The Writing on My Great Grandma’s Paintings

I messed with the contrast and such as much as I could without having Photoshop.
Here’s the writing from the portrait of my mom:

Here’s the other picture with writing on it:

And here’s a close-up of that writing, also overcontrasted to make everything clear:

Grandpa in His Football Uniform

Taking Dophin’s advice had an unintended consequence.

So, I just took the picture down and scanned it in. I had to cut off the coach. Hopefully none of his relatives were waiting around with baited breath (bated breath?) to see their great grandfather on Tiny Cat Pants. Click to embiggen and get a [...]

Dad in Recovery

What I love about this photo is that, if you look closely, you can see how he’s turned this chair into his command center. There’s his chapstick, his house phone, the glint of his cell phone, the glass with just a smidge of Diet Vernor’s Ginger Ale in the bottom, nail clippers, a book, [...]

Interesting Things from Around the House

I tried to wander around the house finding all the stuff I’d want to show you if you were wandering around the house with me.
My Great Grandma Teckla was a writer and painter.  Here’s a portrait of my mom she did.  I have no idea what the characters in the upper right hand corner are, [...]

Photo Help

I want to take a picture of a picture, see, and I can’t figure out how to turn my dad’s camera’s flash off and so I’m getting a glare off the glass. I don’t know what kind of help I need exactly, since I can’t take a picture of the camera to get help, [...]

Oh, The Weather Outside is Frightful

I’d forgotten what a nightmare it is to drive on rural roads in the dark in the snow.  But Mom needed to go to the eye doctor and so we went.  We left Dad at home alone, which I found more nerve wracking than trying to figure out if we were still on the road.
We [...]

My Dad Demands to Go for a Ride

So, we’re going for a ride here in a bit, to fix my phone, which someone, and I’m not naming names, threw on the ground at his house and stomped on and caused to not stay flipped open like a normal phone anymore.  (Okay, maybe the phone just fell on the floor at his house [...]

Dad Gets All Feminist on Jeopardy’s Ass

My dad has to watch Jeopardy at 4:30 every day.  You don’t get in the way of his Jeopardy watching and, if you don’t play along like you’ve got money on it, you best leave the room.
My dad is also not what you’d call an ardent feminist, but today’s Teen Jeopardy had him hopping mad.
First, [...]

Yeah, My Dad’s Cute, Too

My dad wants y’all to know that this photo below is the reason he’s retiring this year.  He’s been working since he was a year and a half old.

Here’s all five of the kids in my dad’s family–from oldest to youngest: My annoying dead Uncle B., My beloved dead Uncle B., my Aunt Julie (not [...]

In Which I Make a Startling Discovery About My Mom

It’s hard enough being the daughter of a gorgeous woman.  Here she is at her wedding, awkwardly putting on lipstick, because she never wears lipstick.

And here she is a little younger looking beautiful as all get out without even trying.

But, America, it’s worse than I thought.  My mom used to be some sort of queen.  [...]

Another Trip Down Memory Lane

Here’s my great grandma Sadie with her chickens. This would be my dad’s mom’s mom.

And here’s my great grandpa, Harry, Sadie’s husband, with his prized horse. I love this photo because you see so many photos of men with their cars and this, to me, is in that same genre.

Here’s my dad and [...]

More Family Weirdness

My dad’s cat will fight you.  No, like a fist fight.

And my mom has an ungodly number of cows, most of which are antiques, so I’ll let it pass that she has them.  But she also has three cow figurines of cows dressed up like cowboys.  It almost hurts my head to look at them.  [...]

Tee Hee Mom

“Do you want me to throw cheese at you?”
“No.”
“You’re no fun.  My real mom would let me throw cheese at her.”
“And she did… Until you were about four.”

It Gets Weird Around Here

–My parents do a Bible devotion every morning.  The other day, the Bible verse had something about having a good heart and my mom started crying.
–I am shocked to see how bad her eyesight is, though they both claim that it’s getting better under the treatment.  Yesterday, she poured herself a bowl of cereal onto [...]

Perhaps the Last Hospital Update

Dad gets out of the hospital tomorrow and I have screwed up the TCP afghan so bad that Mom and I spent much of the evening unraveling it.
Today, while under the influence of his drugs, Dad informed me that he loves the Bluescals.  It took me a while to figure out that it was the [...]

Out of the ICU!

Getting out of the ICU was a lot less exciting than I’d hoped. I wanted confetti and horns, but we just put my dad in a wheel chair, grabbed all his stuff, and rolled on down the hall.
Dad and the Butcher played cribbage and I worked on the TCP afghan, which is going to be [...]

Off to See Dad!

We’re trying to find a cribbage board, a deck of cards, a robe (in case they get Dad walking around and he doesn’t want to moon the nurses; he may want to moon the nurses*), and a pen for score keeping.  I’m bringing the start of the TCP afghan to work on while the Butcher [...]