Good Morning

I stayed up way too late last night looking at houses on Realtracs and I got up way too early this morning because I couldn’t sleep wanting to look at houses on Realtracs.
I’m busy compiling a list of things I do and don’t want in a house.
And now, dear readers, I ask, if I were [...]

My Dad Predicts the Future

So, my dad calls me up to tell me that a.) they’ve found a house to rent while my mom finishes up her thirty years; b.) that my birthday presents should start dribbling in at any time now; and c.) that, if I want some of their furniture to fill my house with, I’d better [...]

Cold, So Cold

I’m so sunburnt and I’m covered in horse snot and I have “Mahhhehehed” myself to scratchy-throated exhaustion and I had to throw a man at his children in order to protect myself from them and I am happy.
The horse came right up to me and did that deep breath horses do when they’re trying to [...]

An Interstate Full of Maxi Pads

Two cars, two different takes on the notorious maxi pad spill.  Note that the folks from Boston claim to be on I-65, which stopped my heart for a second, because, to put it mildly, taking I-65 to Graceland is a little out of the way.  But it turns out that Newscoma and Squirrel Queen were [...]

Note to Self

Switch from “cooter” to “the ovary place.”
(h/t to SuperMousey, who I shan’t link to to protect her from the pervs. But you can take it up with her dad, if you object.)

Oh, Kleinheider

Oh, Kleinheider, Oh, Kleinheider
Oh, Kleinheider,
You are back
You’re still grouchy and curmudgeonly
And folks will call you hACK.

Mary, Mary, Quite Contrary. How Does Your Garden Grow?

Well, because a girl should think twice before not doing what nm tells you to do, I’ve acquired a couple of pepper plants and a couple of pots to put them in.  I got a cayanne pepper plant and a purple bell pepper plant, which, when I told my dad about it, required him to [...]

International Plant Appreciation Day

I’m sure some folks will celebrate in their way (*coughpuffcoughpuffcoughpass*).  I, on the other hand, am taking the opportunity to brag that my rosemary, sage, and lavender made it through the winter and my lavender, which remained the same size for the whole time I’ve owned it just suddenly last week was all like “Oh, [...]

Easing Suffering

I like to tease Mack about befriending me only for this blog. He is, I think y’all know, something of a rabble-rouser who’s been involved with TIRRC and TAP and this and that. He’s the kind of guy that gets invited to Bob Tuke’s house and gets called by the sheriff and the [...]

Pictures of Invisible Chairs

Hey, look what came via email.

I wonder if they make see-through yarn… I could totally whip my friend up a see-through afghan to go with his see-through chairs.

Another Pup Quiz of Sorts

Three girls are in the car.  One is just getting over the flu.  One is just getting over a cold.  One is Mrs. Wigglebottom.
Which one threw up all over the back seat?

Wake Up, Professor!

I have so much to do today.  I need to go to the stores, pay bills, do taxes, do dishes (of course, fucking dishes), walk the dog, take a shower, blah blah blah blah blah.
But what I really want to do is goof off with the Professor all day.
I hope I can talk her into [...]

A Confession

I have a friend who works at the same place I do, but in a much more important position than I do, and every time I run into him, he’s talking about his ergonomic chairs in his office, which are see-through.
And I have to tell you, I spend a lot of time sitting in my [...]

Tiny Pasture, Floating in the Wine, Tiny Pasture, Makes Me Feel Fine

Tiny Pasture got a job!  And a rare wild jaguar was spotted in New Mexico!
(Actually, it turns out that rare wild jaguars are spotted everywhere, not just in New Mexico, and thank the gods for that!  Who’d want to be the dude who had to walk along the border with a can of paint, trying [...]

Preach On, Sister Plimco

Just let me know if you’d like me to send you a stunt cooter for use in the future.  I can crochet you one right up.

The Man from GM Fails to Take Me to Sweden

The Man from GM just got back from Sweden.  He took these photos with his actual own camera.

And this:

I feel like I should talk some smack about the Man from GM, but I want him to take me with him next time.  After all, I’ve been a good friend to him, over the years, kind [...]

This May Have Its Advantages

I always thought that it would be cool to have a back-up singer follow me around all day.  I’d be all like “Do you have change for a fifty?” and my back-up singer would be all “Oooo, change for a fifty.”  Or I’d be like “I’ll have a chicken burrito” and my back-up singer would [...]

Another Open Letter to SuperMousey

Dear SuperMousey,
It’s my understanding that you’ve never seen The Princess Bride.  I don’t know why your dad would deprive you of this important milestone in a young girl’s development, but I advise you to check HBO Family in the coming days and watch it.
The Dread Pirate Roberts is exactly the kind of guy every girl [...]

Here, Ginger! I did it.

Ginger signed me up for this crap and I’m obliging because I like her and because I had a Diet Dr Pepper and cookies for dinner at about 8 and I’m not yet tired.
Here’s the drill:
** Post about the meme and link back to the person that tagged you.
** Go back to your archives and [...]

I Should Go To Bed

But I had such a nice day that I kind of just want to bask in it for as long as I can, even though my eyes are so heavy and head is nodding.
In some really important ways, I’m a very lucky girl.

Good Thing Fourth Wave Feminists Are Too Young to Vote

Shorter First Wavers: We’re dead, so we can’t be president.
Shorter Second Wavers: Now’s our chance to be president!
Shorter Third Wavers: Who do you mean by “our”?
Shorter Fourth Wavers: Bwah-ha-ha!  Soon, it will be my chance to be president!

A Fair Trade

Via Patrick Appel over at Andrew Sullivan’s, we learn:
For several centuries in pre-modern Latin America, cacao beans were considered valuable enough to use as currency. One bean could be traded for a tamale, while 100 beans could purchase a good turkey hen, according to a 16th-century Aztec document.
Figuring in inflation, I would gladly trade a [...]

It Gets Weird Around Here

–My parents do a Bible devotion every morning.  The other day, the Bible verse had something about having a good heart and my mom started crying.
–I am shocked to see how bad her eyesight is, though they both claim that it’s getting better under the treatment.  Yesterday, she poured herself a bowl of cereal onto [...]

Oh, City Girl

I love YT, and this has just charmed the pants off me.  I’m a terrible fisherman, but now I feel morally obligated to take her.

Out of the ICU!

Getting out of the ICU was a lot less exciting than I’d hoped. I wanted confetti and horns, but we just put my dad in a wheel chair, grabbed all his stuff, and rolled on down the hall.
Dad and the Butcher played cribbage and I worked on the TCP afghan, which is going to be [...]