Return to Paranormal State

Did you ever see a TV show so bad that you thought, “Who in the world is stupid enough to watch this shit?” 
I feel that way about Paranormal State and yet, I must tell you, America, it’s me.  I’m watching it.
I don’t know why.
It’s terrible.  I mean, really, terrible. 
If you have a problem with ghosts [...]

The Orphanage

At the behest of John Lamb, the Professor and I went to see The Orphanage tonight.  I had this theory that I would be less scared because, not understanding Spanish, I’d be concentrating more on the words on the screen than on the creepy images on the screen, but apparently this director is big on [...]

Urgent Memo

To: John Lamb, Hispanic Nashville Notebook
From: Aunt B.
Re: The Orphanage
______________________________________________
AAAAAAaaaaiiiiiaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiaaaaaaaaaaaaa–
aayayayaaaiiaiaiia!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Are you trying to kill me?

Reason Number 104 Why I Love Ghosthunters

On an episode last night, the new girl was sent down to check out a creepy basement, to act as a lure for any spirits that, I guess, wanted to see a pretty girl in a creepy basement.
And she snarkily said that she was going to get a t-shirt that said “Bait.”
And then she climbed [...]

A Dead Man Not My Own

I wanted to drive up and down the empty streets and watch the yellow lights blink on and off and listen to Bob Dylan asking that his grave be kept clean. I wanted to cry.
I came home instead.
The solstice party was amazing. A good balance of ritual with free time.
I wrote my regrets [...]

My First Seance

My first seance was back in middle school.  My friend Amanda lived in a big old run-down Victorian which I still dream about (though, in my dreams, it’s much bigger and I find that my dreams have infected my memory and so I can’t say for sure which parts are real and which parts are [...]

On the Way into Work, I Saw My Cousin

He was just standing on the street corner, waiting for the light so that he could cross West End.  He looked fantastic.  Bright and healthy and just like he felt great.
I mean, I know it couldn’t be him.  In a month, he’ll have been dead a year.
I know it was just some guy who looked [...]

After the Altar

First off, America, I ask you–have you ever seen a paw so cute?  Tucked up under her cheek so demurely?  I about can’t stand it.  And look at her nose spots!  You can practically hear her honk-shoos.

Second, I took down my altar for this year without taking pictures of it.  Lucky for y’all I set [...]

In Which I Channel Charlemagne

Bill Hobbs asks: Will Europe Survive the 21st Century?  He then quotes a few lines from an essay with that same name:  “What would Charlemagne make of Europe today? …. How long, the Emperor would surely ask, can a civilization expect to survive without arms, without faith, without children?”
Well, you know, I hate to leave [...]

The Supposedly Cursed Brentwood Library

I’ve been working on this big long post for three days that brought to mind the story of the cursed Brentwood library.  I was thinking of said story on our walk this morning, too, because who, now, would believe a story about construction in Middle Tennessee that included no reference to Mexicans?
Mull that over, folklorists.
Anyway, [...]

So, Tell Me about Boston

Okay, folks, you know me by now.  I like creepy things.  I like history.  I like looking at things.  I like magic.  I like folklore.  I like food.
What should I be sure not to miss in Boston?

Sunday Adventures

I had this brilliant idea to take Mrs. Wigglebottom down to the Bicentennial Fountain and photograph her playing in it for your amusement, but, alas, the fountain is closed.  So, instead, we went first to the old City Cemetery, which, folks, let’s talk plainly about.  That place is falling apart.  The Friends of the Cemetery [...]

Car Rides to Creepy Places

I taught the Butcher to drive.  It seemed necessary after going through the process myself of learning to drive from my dad.  For those of you tough guys who think that learning anything from my dad must be a walk in the park, I suggest you borrow a crazed pit bull who is determined to [...]

I Sell Myself Short

The Recovering Baptist just sent me an email informing me that she had a tarot reading over at Magical Journey that cost her thirty dollars and the guy was a shittier card reader than me.  Oh, and it only took him fifteen minutes.
Seriously, thirty dollars for fifteen minutes.
Who knew I had any skills that someone [...]

Why Don’t the Ghosts of the Civil War Do My Dishes?

If the Butcher hasn’t been home all night, who ate the cookies?  Neverminding the other three mammals in my house, I know it wasn’t me, which leaves only the Ghosts of the Civil War, which leaves me with my first question.
I don’t mind if they want to hang out and use our can opener and [...]

One Last Cool and Spooky Thing

So, I’m going around the car with the rental agent in L.A. and there’s a scratch on the front bumper.  I don’t know where it came from and I don’t give a shit.  Probably the valet dinged it.  Plus, I’m covered by work’s insurance.
Or so they assure me.  I realize when I’m filling out the [...]

Wherefore Art Thou, Donovan?

Some days a girl just needs to hear "Season of the Witch" and not some crappy attempt by Robert Plant, which is so non-creepy that I bet it embarrassed Jimmy Page just to think about it.
And yet, I’ve wasted my whole lunch hour looking for a free version to download.  No such luck.
Still, now I [...]

Rex L. Camino Finds the Creepy

Rex brings us the story of 911 calls from houses that no longer exist.
It gives me the willies!

The Ghost of Jim Morrison

I blog about the Doors, Sarcastro blogs about the Doors, and what should the Butcher and I see this… morning… afternoon* but some show in which the worst "ghost hunters" on tv tried to communicate with the ghost of Jim Morrison.
At the end of the show, they finally found a tarot reader who seemed to [...]

Speaking of Ghosts…

On Wednesday, on Ghost Hunters, a comforter moved mysteriously on Grant.  Or, I should say “mysteriously” because the trouble with spooky shit is that it relies a great deal on “Is this happening?” for its spookiness.
Let’s just say that I was sitting here and out of the corner of my eye, I thought I saw [...]

John Henry, Revisited

I forgot to tell you that I had the weirdest thing happen to me yesterday. I was standing around talking to Scott Reynolds Nelson about his book about John Henry, who, as we all know, has been passing the time haunting this blog when I met a man even more surly and unfriendly than [...]

U.S. Bank is There When I Needed It

I got up early to walk the dog and have time to finish packing.  I was groggy so I thought I would lock and shut the door and then put my keys and cellphone in my jacket pocket, which would have been quite the feat of physics, since my keys and cellphone were on the [...]

“But I Rub My Root, My Luck Will Never Fail”

Muddy Waters can sing anything and make it sound like a seduction. I can imagine him strutting up on stage with a phone book in one hand and a sly grin on his face, being all like “That’s A, I say A, Abrams, Aaron, Abrams, Barton, Abrams, Daniel…” and all the women in the [...]

One More Bone

We should have a contest. A prize to the first person to guess this bone.
I don’t know what the prize is. Ha, that could be our next contest.
Woo, my contests suck.
Anyway, identify this bone and its purpose (either mundane or otherwise) and win something, I don’t know what.

Robert Johnson is in my Bedroom

I forgot to do a spooky picture yesterday, but Smiley reminded me at lunch.
Legendary bluesman Robert Johnson sometimes didn’t have a pot to piss in when he was alive, but he’s got three graves in death. In this jar is dirt from all of them.