The Thing We’re not Talking About

The Gift Giver says:
One’s own house is best, though small it may be;
each man is master at home;
though he have but two goats and a bark-thatched hut
’tis better than craving a boon.
And I, my friends, am going to hang that in my house, when I find one, which I can, because I have “gorgeous credit” [...]

I Should Go To Bed

But I had such a nice day that I kind of just want to bask in it for as long as I can, even though my eyes are so heavy and head is nodding.
In some really important ways, I’m a very lucky girl.

Just Two Thousand People Taking a Little Stroll to the Voting Booth

Photo by Ken Basart (see more here).
Here, here, and here for background.

I Think the ‘Ta-Da’ May Be More Broadly Applicable

Lindsey reports that our friend, Joey, is running around asking sex advice questions from circus performers.  He’s come a long way from the wide-eyed terror with which he faced my napkin cooter, hasn’t he?
Anyway, I’m going to start saying ‘ta-da’ after all kinds of different accomplishments.  What a genius way to end things!
You go along [...]

Today I Got My First Hit for CPAP Porn!

That tickles me a great deal.  I am overcome by curiosity wondering what other hits one might find when one searches for CPAP porn, but I’m afraid to look and I’ll tell you why.
Once, when I was a young lass, just starting out on the red blood trail that is life as a menstruating woman, [...]

My Day

I was having the kind of day where you discover that your webhost hasn’t uploaded the five photos you have to give them to upload because they believe that you are too stupid to do it yourself, nevermind that kids on that MySpace do it all the time, and it’s been a month.
But then something [...]

Well, Wow.

Because someone at Harper-Collins has completely misidentified what I do and why I do it, I’ve ended up with a free copy of The Invisible Sex: Uncovering the True Roles of Women in Prehistory.

I Saw It With My Own Eyes!

The tiny cat can pee in the toilet!!!!!!
I was sitting here and I heard the sound of tinkling and I grabbed the phone and ran over to the bathroom door and tried to get the camera on the phone set up while getting the bathroom light on, but all the noise and light-flashing was not [...]

Counting The Awesomeness

1.  I made some great chicken soup yesterday.
2.  Mack threw crap at me twice on Sunday and twice I was able to throw it back at him and actually hit him.  And his primary wife announced that we–she and I–were going to Vegas.  I can’t wait to go to Vegas with Mack’s primary wife, if [...]

Bah Humbug

I can’t go to sleep on that note.  I just can’t. 
Instead, imagine this with me.  We’re in a mansion in Newport, Rhode Island, sitting on a hard, wooden floor, looking at the sun rising over the water, out French doors.  The sun is hot on our faces and the house is still and quiet.
We don’t [...]

Merry Christmas, My Christian Friends!

When we were little, there’d always be that moment when we’d be waiting for our parents to wake up, and we’d sneak into the living room and sit quietly in the blinking lights, listening to the Christmas music…
Oh, hey!  I guess that means the parents weren’t that asleep, or hadn’t been asleep that long.
Anyway, that [...]

In Praise of the Raised Toilet Seat

I know the stereotype is that girls hate it when guys leave the toilet seat up.  In the past, I’ve been pretty neutral about it.
Yes, it sucks to sit down in the dark and end up with a butt covered in cold water.  But, you only have to do that a couple of times before [...]

Holy Cow!

The stuff I ordered yesterday from Amazon and paid standard shipping for is all going to be at my house today.  Now, I know this is in part because I live close to the Lexington Amazon warehouse, but dang.
I’d like to give a shout-out to the folks working that warehouse, for giving me some crazy [...]

Just a Little Bragging

As of two minutes ago, I’m all done with my Christmas shopping.
My only concern is that I got the littlest nephew an etch-a-sketch and who can get clear to five without one already?

Is this my lucky day or what?

1.  Ninety minutes of Grant from Ghost Hunters!
2.  The Butcher is going to make his first batch of chili tomorrow!
3.  Antioch Auto Center has a commercial in which they announce that they are serving us in Jesus’ name.  I must be misremembering that He was a carpenter.
4.  Dan Savage answers questions about my favorite topic.  [...]

I Lived!

I’ll have more of an update for you later, because I’m still a little sore and sitting up like this is not very comfortable.
But it went great.
When I was under, I dreamed that John Prine would not write a song about me and boy was I pissed at him when I came out of surgery.  [...]

Milking It for All It’s Worth

America, I am an idiot!
I just realized that tomorrow, a surgeon will be cutting a small slit at the base of my neck.  Go ahead, run your finger right down the front of your neck to the place where it meets your chest.  Slowly.  Slowly.
SEE?!
Am I going to have the best time demurely asking folks [...]

I Really Want to Marry the Oxford English Dictionary

Y’all, if there’s one thing I love, it is snarkiness.  I think we all know that.  So, today, on a whim, I looked up “snark” in the OED and would you believe that it’s a word?
Not just a word, but a word with a history.
We see evidence of it being used to mean to find [...]

When Was the Last Time We Closed Our Doors and Danced Around Our Offices Together?

It’s been too long, my friends. Far too long. As far as I’m concerned, this song is the perfect song for dancing around your office to, because, if you’re alone, you can just sit in your chair and spin back and forth to the rhythm while you’re busy typing away at whatever still [...]

The Three Happinesses of Yesterday

1.  I finished Good Omens and bless its heart, that was almost a good book!  I really liked it.  In fact, I do believe that, if Stephen King, Neil Gaiman, and Terry Prachett wrote a book together, they might each be able to compensate for the others’ weaknesses, thus resulting in the most enjoyable, most [...]

Eye Crinkles

Is there anything more attractive than eye crinkles?
I think not.  I try to smile as big as I can every day in hopes of encouraging them on my face.  Big, deep eye crinkles that say “I’m up to no good and if you come too close, I will slap you on the ass!”

Oh, Smooches *sigh*

Here, in no particular order, are some of my favorite smooches. 
–I like the smooch where there’s no question it’s going to happen.  The smoocher is standing full on in front of the smoochee with that smooching grin on his/her face.  Bot smoocher and smoochee lean in at the same time and soft lips brush soft [...]

Happy Blogoversary to Me!

Today is the end of the third year of Tiny Cat Pants and the beginning of the fourth.  It somehow seems like it’s been longer than that–so much has happened in that time, it’s almost hard to believe.
Of course, none of it would be possible without my awesome kick-ass readers, who are some of the [...]

This May Change My Life

Yesterday, the Butcher was listening to the Dixie Chicks.
I said, “What are you listening to?”
“The Dixie Chicks.”
“The Dixie Chicks are on Madden?”
“No, on my iPod.  See, I just plug this here, flip that there, and…”
“You can run your iPod through the speakers?!”
“Well, duh, B.”
So, today, I have run my iPod–The Greenman–through my computer’s speakers.
In honor [...]

Real Men Wear Pink

I bring you the most awesome story you’ll read today, courtesy of Dan Savage.
If that doesn’t bring a smile to your face or a tear to your eye, I don’t know what will.