My TV Boyfriend

I love Dan Abrams.

I love Dan Abrams because he’s smart and good looking and always makes things I care so little about–Scott Peterson, Michael Jackson, Kobe Bryant–sound like interesting and important matters. I also like he because so few people watch MSNBC that, when I get home from work, slip out of my shoes and onto the couch and turn the TV on, he practically says “Hello, Aunt B. I hope you had a good day at work. Thanks for joining us.” I wouldn’t be surprised if I got a gift basket at the Holidays.

(Just as a side note, dear Miss J., remember the good old days when buying all your books for school from Amazon would insure you’d get a nice mug from them at Christmas?)

I watch a lot of TV news. A lot. I spend my mornings with Robin and Kendis and the gang on Headline News. I come home from work to the aforementioned Dan. At six, I’m watching Jon Stewart and flipping back and forth to Chris Matthews. At seven, I’m watching Countdown with Keith Olbermann. I’m quite possibly the only person in America that watches this much MSNBC.

And, after watching this much MSNBC, I must say that I think the reason their evening lineup is so enticing is because, if you throw a little John Stewart in there, it’s like Boy Band News. You’ve got Dan, the smart one you could bring home to mom; Chris Matthews, the cutey-pie; Jon Stewart, the wise-ass; Keith, the older one; and Joe Scarborough, the scary one.

Literal Boy Band News would be so awesome, especially if there was syncronized dancing. . .

2 thoughts on “My TV Boyfriend

  1. So I thought that the guy who wrote the blurbs for the tv guide like channel was your tv boyfriend? If you get 2, then I get 2. That way I can keep the more embarrassing one somewhat secret. Of course, reading the first few posts makes me wonder if Aunt B thinks she can tell you all while keeping my secret just by using my secret identy.
    –the Professor

  2. Oh, Professor, I forgot about my other TV boyfriend, the guy who writes the movie descriptions for Comcast’s digital cable! I’m so fickle.

    As long as your secret crush is not the Guy who Gets Laid, I don’t think any of us will laugh at you. On the other hand, the Guy who Gets Laid has, over the course of the last week, dog-sat, bought me a case of Diet Dr Pepper, and given me a beer for no reason, so, if you can overcome his Republican-ness, I don’t think he’d be that bad a catch.

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