Britney Spears

This morning, I was watching VH1 and I saw the video for Britney Spears’s cover of “My Perogative.” The video is ungodly dark and it’s nearly impossible to tell what’s going on in the video, except that you can clearly see that she’s doing it with conviction. However, one of the things you can see is that she drives a car into a pool and then starts dancing on it.

Yes, she drives a car into a pool. It’s so weird that you almost don’t mind the rest of the video being so impossible to see, because you’re busy trying to imagine what would possess someone to launch their car into a pool.

And, apparently, VH1 was thinking the same thing because the very next video was that Maroon 5 song where the scrawny guy with no nose makes out with the mother and daughter, which just happens to open with him staring into a pool as if he too is pondering why Britney Spears would sink a perfectly good car.

5 thoughts on “Britney Spears

  1. Because it’s her prerogative (god I hate how that word is spelled!) and it represents where she’s headed. Car under water in this video, her slitting her wrists and slipping under the water in a bathtub in the last one… the girl’s got problems.

    Salon ran an interesting piece a few weeks back titled “Don’t do it Britney!” http://www.salon.com/mwt/feature/2004/08/23/britney/index.html With this telling line: “Class is a major factor in the knee-slapping hilarity of Spears’ free-fall.”

    In a somewhat embarassing confession, I sort of think the lead singer of Maroon 5 is cute, if scrawny.

    — Corporate Shill

  2. Dear C.S.,

    I’m not knocking your choice in men. I just want to point out a little more forcefully that the lead singer of Maroon 5 has no nose. Clearly, his leap into the pool at the beginning of the video symbolizes the drowning feeling he has when he makes out with either mother or daugher, because, when he’s got his mouth full of tongue, obviously, he can’t breathe.

    I hope you’re not going to ask your husband to indulge your fantasy by removing his own nose. How will he hold up his glasses?

    pRerogative, huh? I wonder what a rogative and a postrogative are…

  3. http://www.maroon5.com/main_site/main.html

    He does too have a nose! Although I can’t recall if it’s obscured in the video somehow. He’s got other problems besides his nose, namely the fact that he is completely in love with himself and has that hipster grungy look to him. But I still find him mildly attractive.

  4. Ah, the infernal curse that the line between attractive self-confidence and massive ego is so thin and so easily crossed!

    He’s good looking in his own way, I guess, but not so hot that I believe two women in the same house would want him.

    Speaking of unbelievable videos, what’s with that April Lavigne video where she seems to be running around with permanent bitch-face because her teacher wants to sleep with her but doesn’t want to be seen with her in public. I mean, that’s her teacher, right? Because, clearly, he’s older than us.

  5. In hindsight, two and a half years later, I believe that this video was a prophetic cry for help. In just the same way you can’t imagine what would possess someone to drive into a pool, we must ask what would possess someone to shave off all of her perfectly good hair. Coincidences? I think NOT.

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