The folks in the office suit next to use used to have a black-market snack shop in one of their back rooms. In the candy machine in the hall were old, hot Snickers with Almonds and rows of chips in flavors like “Taco” and “Old Cheddar” all costing between $.85 and $1.00. The folks next door sold anything your heart desired–cookies, Snickers, Twix, popcorn, brownies, chips in flavors like “corn” and “potato” and paper (just in case your office ran out), all for less than .$50. Plus, since you just had to pay into a coffee cup, if you were short on change, you could just put in a slip of paper with the amount you owed.

It was Heaven, I tell you.

So, of course, someone in the building narced them out, they got shut down, and today, the candy machine is mostly empty, and I’m eating Lifesavers so old they’ve started to go soft.

Thanks for nothing, tattletale!