Not only do they take my can opener, they take my whole post about them. WTF?
My uncle, the History Teacher, is dead. It’s been almost a decade and I still get caught off-guard when one of his brothers calls me and I think, for just a second, it might be him. After he died, he appeared to my dad’s best friend in a dream. This upset him, because my uncle still had his crutches, and my dad’s best friend believes that when you go to Heaven, you are made whole. My uncle explained that he came in a recognizable form.
He also appeared in a dream to my recalcitrant brother, but he’s never shared the particulars with me. He was in a dream I had once, sitting at a table with my ancestors (I didn’t recognize any of the rest of them, but as dreams are, I knew that’s who they were) and he was wearing a green Robin Hood outfit. I asked him why and he said it was my dream.
However, I am holding out for the day he appears to my dad, because my dad declared, after he heard that my uncle had come to the best friend, that if my uncle ever appeared to him, he would shit the bed.
Nieces and nephews, I can think of no funnier thing that could happen in the life of our family. Knowing my dad’s family, I am at a loss for why this hasn’t happened yet.
All I can think is that the non-appearance must be out of respect for my mom, since she shares a bed with my dad.
But one day, I hope to post the scary story of the day my uncle scared the shit out of my dad.
We have beef jerky in the snack machine and pro-Red Sox graffiti in the elevator.