A Law of Physics?

Physicists, help!

Is there some law, like gravity, that states that the people who holler the loudest have the most to hide? Is there a formula that will help me figure out how funny that is?

Like this: If x= the importance of the current social issue (as measured by the number of minutes FOX news spends on it) and y=the speed at which sanctimonious politicians race to legislate the problem away, can we safely say that xy=MF which is the Magnitude of Funny that comes from finding out that they’re cheating on their wife or have a relative who embodies this current social issue?

Does the formula then prove that the sanctimonious politician must be cheating on his wife or have a relative who embodies the current social issue?

Anyway, this story from today’s Tennessean makes me wonder. Note, Senator Miller is both cheating on his wife and, according to today’s City Paper, has a gay brother. Somehow that ups the Magnitude of Funny.