Things I Have No Control Over

Your computer. I don’t know why it won’t start and making me come in and look at it won’t clarify matters.

The weather. Dog, I cannot stop the rain nor can I shrink time. Hiding under the bed and making weird snorty noises will not force me to make the sun rise any sooner.

Your dogs. Your dogs run all over the neighborhood menacing cars and joggers and folks with dogs on leashes. When you see that your dogs have blocked the road and won’t let me and my dog pass, and so I call out and ask you to help, please call your dogs, don’t stare at me like I should just move your dogs my damn self.

The speed limit. The speed limit in alleys is 15 miles an hour. That means, if you are about to turn into the alley way down at the end of the block, I ought to be able to safely start out across it. I don’t care how late you are for whatever you’re late for, if you come up that alley at 40 miles an hour and almost hit me, I’m going to be angry.

Other people in general.