I Wanna Be a Cowboy’s Sweetheart

Rex Hammock brings us the really important news.

All I need is a Camaro and a six pack and I’ll be all set to drive slowly up and down West End and lure Kid Rock out of his house and down to Larry Flynt’s cafe.

(And, dear readers, I promise you that, if I ever go down there, you’ll get a report that covers the actual things you care about, such as whether there’s a wall of dildos. Who reviews a store without telling you about the quality of the merchandise?)

Advertisements

The Lunches Continue!

Nick and Rudy’s.

Fabulous. The burger is not as good as the burger at Granite Falls, which is still not as good as their old Patio Burger, but I’m slowly getting over that. And the burger was just fine.

The catfish that the Man from GM had was fabulous, as was his mushroom soup.

We did not talk about feminist issues, but instead about how to get rich as a book author.

My recommendation? Be Stephen King.

The waitstaff was great. We had three different waiters, all working in concert, which, compared to the half a waiter we had at Noshville, was really nice.

America, we should definitely have these “Take Aunt B. out to eat” weeks more often.

Things that Need Investigating

Now that I have the ear of two Nashville media outlets, I’d like to ask that the following things be investigated:

1. What is John Rich of Big & Rich hiding? Does he have a hideously deformed belly button? One lone giant boob? A small vestigial twin? What? Why is he always wearing things that hide his shape? Check it out. There’s always a coat or an untucked shirt or overalls or a guitar. What’s he keeping from us?

2. Are there really a series of tunnels under the downtown?

3. Can people still be buried on Vanderbilt’s campus? What is the criteria for getting that honor?

4. If someone were to make a fake Hall of Fame plaque, say with the likeness and biography of a Nashville blogging goddess, and place it in the Country Music Hall of Fame, how long would it take for anyone to notice? And, if someone were to do that, could you stick me by Willie Nelson or Sam Phillips?

5. How is it that it takes me 6 hours to drive from Nashville to Champaign, Illinois, no matter how fast I go or how few pit stops I make, and my dad can make the same trip in 5? Could someone follow him one time and see how he does it? Is he speeding? If so, why isn’t he getting ticketed? Does he know a shortcut? What?

Go get on it, Nashville media!