It’s Like Middle School, but Better Looking

I’m constantly reminded of the ways in which life is just like middle school, but the boys are taller and the girls less openly cruel. I myself often behave like an overgrown thirteen year old.

Here are some of the many ways:

1. No matter how serious a conversation I’m having with Taketoshi, at some point, I have to insinuate that he’s making some reference to sex. For instance, he might say “Do I have to bring out Gertrude Stein again?” and I say “Is that what the kids are calling it these days?” Or he says something about rubbing Mrs. Wigglebottom’s belly and I say “Well, I bow to your superior knowledge of kinky sex acts…”

Really, America, there is no need for me to do that, except that it makes me laugh because I have the emotional maturity of an eighth grader and when faced with a smart, kind, well-spoken person, I feel compelled to make sex jokes to see if I can embarrass him.

2. Often, when reading Adam Ash (link is super for real not work safe), it’s all I can do to not write in the comments “Real Nude Thoughts: I hope this fucker doesn’t try to pay me with a check. I hope the babysitter won’t mind that I’m going to be a little late tomorrow. I wonder if I remembered to turn the stove off. How long does it take to adjust a light anyway? I hope Natalie remembers to send me that email address. Yeah, I’d do a Tera Patrick film, just for the side benefits.”

3. I woke the Butcher up this morning just to ask him if I was as scary as the rest of the family. He smartly said “no” at which point, I wandered off to take a shower, which I needed, because whoa boy did I stink!

4 thoughts on “It’s Like Middle School, but Better Looking

  1. Actually, I don’t think I’ve ever been embarrassed by one of your random references to sex. And you should hear some of the conversations I have with my other, almost-strictly-internet friends, which usually begin with references to anal sex and pass through several fetishes before finally getting down to relevant content.

    I do enjoy them, though. It reminds me that you’re not just a brilliant and incisive observer of human interaction, but an actual participant on occasion as well!

  2. Actually, Aunt B, some women have commented on “Nude Thoughts” exactly like that — Prof Bitch Ph.D being one of them.

  3. Adam! Wow, I’m so flattered that you stopped by. I love your blog. Well, thanks for poking your head in.

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