So, if you’ve been following the gripping tale of Sarcastro’s Thanksgiving, either at his place or at the Boy Scout’s, you might be thinking of the Professor’s comments from the other day–”How’s it go? Alcohol just heightens whatever emotion(s) you are already experiencing.”
Well, America, if this is true, we can discern a few things about our favorite truck-driving libertarians.
1. Sarcastro will argue with anyone, even the girls in Playboy. He incredulously refused to believe that Miss December had a dog that weighs 150 pounds. Yes, folks, Sarcastro reads Playboy. I’m shocked, too.
2. Though I’m still not exactly sure what he was getting at, I think the Boy Scout was offering to do my laundry. At least, he really wanted me to mail him my laundry. If I may take a moment to address him directly– Darling Boy Scout, it’s very kind of you to offer to do that particular chore, but really, if you want to help out around my house, I’d much prefer you offer to do my dishes.
3. The women in my family must just love obnoxious men, because my mom was totally loving talking to them on the phone. I tried to bribe her with a cookie into giving me the phone back, which, folks, has never failed before, and she just smiled and turned her back on me and cooed, “Well, I just don’t know. Let me think for a minute if there’s anything B. would rather you not know about. Tee hee hee.”
Once she got off the phone, my dad was all “If they want to know stories about you, they should have asked me. Your mother doesn’t remember things; I do. Plus, I had the people in the church calling me all the time keeping me updated.”
“Yes, and that would be exactly why I didn’t put you on the phone.”
“Well, B., you know I like to talk to the guys who put up with you, just to thank them.”
“They suggested going out to lunch with you and Mom some time, so the opportunity is not lost.”
“Well, we could hang out here until lunch tomorrow.”
“Then, thank god they’re sitting in Georgia.”
Anyway, boy-oriented folks, I tried to convince them to make out and send me the video so that I could share it with y’all, but they didn’t seem interested. Our loss, I guess.