Mrs. Wigglebottom and the Case of the Missing Pizza

So, you may set down a box half full of cold pizza and you may grab yourself out a slice and you may decide that it’s the grossest pizza you’ve ever eaten cold and you may half-heartedly eat on that one piece as you’re furiously blogging about, say, libertarianism. And you then may finally be like “God damn, Domino’s. This Steak Fanatic pizza is disgusting” and go to put the half-eaten piece back in the box, which was resting just at dog-head-height.

You may then notice that all of the rest of the pizza is missing.

And, though the dog must have snuck off and eaten the pizza someplace where you couldn’t hear her, she’ll gladly come back and throw it all up right at your feet.

Thanks, Mrs. Wigglebottom. That was pretty damn gross. But, at least we are in agreement about the quality of the pizza.

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9 thoughts on “Mrs. Wigglebottom and the Case of the Missing Pizza

  1. For my birthday, mom baked me a cake: strawberry, with vanilla icing. She left it on the counter, but unfortunately near the edge, just close enough so our dog, Cribbs, could get up on his hind legs, and lick at the icing on one side.

    My parents did not notice this until they saw Cribbs running around the house with white icing all over his mouth. He was a happy dog.

    And I got only half a cake for my birthday.

  2. Many moons ago, I worked over a year for a Domino’s franchise in Chicago. The putridity of being in their employ was underwhelmed only by the experience of actually touching and preparing the putrescence that they sold as ‘food.’

    Your dog has good taste, or at least functioning taste buds.

  3. Am I the only one who generally finds that Stunt Pizzas are by and large disgusting?

    You know “Italian Hero Pizza”, “Hawaiian BBQ Pizza”.

    urgh.

  4. Papa John’s Hawaiian BBQ Chicken pizza is a sublime delicacy, that only refined and discriminating palates are ready for.

  5. There’s a Hawaiian BBQ pizza? With regular tomato sauce? Because, that’s making me kind of sick just to think about it.

  6. Ever have spinach pizzas with white sauce instead of red? That’s not bad, but you have to get it in a real restaurant. A delivery place would screw it up bad.

  7. Garlic pizza with white sauce.
    Mmmmm….

    I never thought I’d like Hawaiian pizza, but it’s great. I think I did try it with BBQ and it was excellent.

  8. Is there any better ingredient in the history of ingredients (with the exception of salt) than garlic? I don’t think so.

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