In Sickness

If my dad were an actual faith healer, it might make my life easier. He could sit in the Midwest and pray for me and I could lay on my couch in the mid-south and wait for whatever it is to work its way through my system.

But no, my dad’s faith is in over-the-counter medicines. A few years ago he was on this zinc kick, where he’d call every week during flu season and nag us about taking zinc every day. Before that it was vitamin C.

Now, apparently, I’m sick because I didn’t take Advil Cold & Sinus once a day to help ward off my cold.

Here’s why I don’t take cold medicine unless I think I might have to either die or break down and go to the doctor.

1. “Non-drowsy” cold medicines put me right to sleep. The “non-drowsy” isn’t a misnomer, because the sleep is pretty instantaneous. There is no “drowsy” between the awake and the asleep.

2. NyQuil gives me terrible nightmares.

3. Advil makes me confused. I don’t know what day it is. I can’t remember if I’ve talked to people or just think I have.

For instance, on Saturday, I wasn’t actually sure anyone was going to pick me up from the airport because I couldn’t remember if I’d really talked to the Professor and the Butcher on the phone or not. I didn’t really remember talking to either of them, but I did remember very vividly Miss J. brushing my hair and telling me about this fantastic pot roast she made with lemon jello, and I’m almost certain that did not happen.

And, it occurs to me looking back over these last few posts, that I can’t say for certain that I actually talked to Sarcastro. I think I did, but when would I have? And why? Was it just to ask him what day it was? And why wouldn’t I have trusted anyone in DC to give me that information?

So, today, no Advil.

I’m just going to lay around and try to regain some hold on what’s real and what’s not. If it gets too bad, I’ll take some NyQuil. I’d rather have nightmares, I think, than not feel certain about reality.