My First Brush with Law-Breaking

I emailed JR today, which was the first time in ages I’d talked to her. Since I was out there in the Fall, she’s gotten a promotion and she and Elias are looking at buying a house.

I was thinking how, when we were little, we used to lock ourselves in the bathroom and make these concoctions of whatever we could find under the sink–baby powder, perfume, nail polish, nail polish remover, crushed blush and eye shadow–and stir them up into these big thick, stinky goopy messes.

I can’t for the life of me remember why we did that. I don’t think we ever did anything with the goop, though it would have been awesome if we’d thrown it at our brothers.

JR’s mom was all the time letting us do cool stuff (and I mean cool in a nerdy sense) like cut each other’s hair. Mine is curly, so really, you can’t ruin it. Whatever wrong you do, the curls will cover. But JR has this thick long straight hair and you start hacking away at that… yeah, it’s going to show.

The best, though, was when I was thirteen or fourteen and JR and her brother were over and her mom came to pick them up. She was standing in the kitchen talking to my parents and I asked her if I could drive her car around the block.

She handed me the keys.

So, we all–me, JR, her brother, and my two brothers–piled in the car and drove it around the block.

When we got back, my dad was like “Where have you guys been?”

I said, “We took the car around the block.”

And all the adults were like “Sure, whatever.”

Yes, folks, that’s how nerdy I was. They didn’t believe I would misbehave. They refused to believe I’d actually taken the car. I’m almost embarrassed to tell you that.

3 thoughts on “My First Brush with Law-Breaking

  1. I agree with Jon, you were/are such a rebel. When I was fourteen, my grandfather gave me his old car, a pristine 73 Pontiac Grand Prix (this was 1984ish) and it just kinda sat in the garage most of the time till I turned 16, accept for the times my mom drove it to keep it running because she didn’t know that on many occasions, my friends and I would take it for a spin around the neighborhood. Oh those were the days.

  2. I should really do a series of all the lame-ass ways I’ve ever broken the law, just so you guys have a clear picture of my level of nerdiness.

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