Whew, the recalcitrant brother and the Wayward Boy Scout are Safe

It turns out that the FBI and the DeKalb County Division of Homeland Security have been working overtime to keep the folks in Georgia safe from the imminent terrorist threat of vegans*.

Christ. Wasn’t Dan Savage agitating for a constitutional amendment guaranteeing us a right to privacy? Can’t we get on that shit for real?

Hmm. You know, now that I think about it, if the vegans were peaceably assembling, they already have an amendment that’s supposed to keep the government from interfering.

Well, fuck me. Strange and scary times, folks. Strange and scary times.

*It’s easy enough to mock the ACLU, but someone needs to start throwing lawsuits around about this shit and I’m glad they’re doing it.

5 thoughts on “Whew, the recalcitrant brother and the Wayward Boy Scout are Safe

  1. I’m not saying that people who don’t like Honey Baked Ham should be locked up, but there is something clearly wrong with them. You know who else doesn’t eat Honey Baked Ham? Al-Qaeda and the Taliban, that’s who.

    Although, if Caitlin and her ilk get sent to Gitmo, more ham for me.

  2. Yeah, you’re probably next, what with your hanging out with suspicious hippie liberal girls and speaking Arabic. I bet the FBI already has a file on you. Do you have any state-issued identification that proves you are who you say you are?


  3. Unless the Feebs are using me to spy on dumb hippie liberal girls, then the lack of identification is part of my deep cover.

  4. I do not fear vegans. They all look sickly and weak, and are rarely armed.

    You need the taste of blood in your mouth every now and then to keep your fighting edge.

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