If You Go Outside Now, You Can Feel Okay About Spending the Afternoon Drinking Beer

It’s so beautiful out. Mrs. Wigglebottom and I walked over to Centennial Park, looking to see if any old men were using the free wifi in the park.

They were not.

But we did see a number of exciting things.

1. There is this enormous black dog who lives up on the hill by the park. Have any of y’all seen this dog? I swear, it could step over the fence if it wanted. It looks like a terrier in the face and has those kind of ears, but it’s a giant. If you’ve seen it, Mrs. Wigglebottom and I welcome speculation about what kinds of dogs went into its makeup.

2. A tiny girl came around a bush and snuck a picture of Mrs. Wigglebottom peeing. This is the first paparazzi I’ve noticed stalking Mrs. Wigglebottom, but I doubt it will be the last. She asked us one probing question–“Is she eating goose poop?” And yes, it turns out that she was.

3. Mrs. Wigglebottom was complimented twice for being “a good looking dog.”

4. We saw two bassett hounds pulling a lady behind them. Think about that, if you’re familiar with bassett hounds, and revel in the funny.

5. Mrs. Wigglebottom sat at every crosswalk and I only had to push on her butt twice. Ha, I love that she sometimes gives the impression that she’s well-trained.

After we cuted everyone at the park half to death, we walked back up the hill, across the scary bridge, and home.