Reader Mail

Today, I’ve gotten a letter from a reader of Tiny Cat Pants. It reads as follows (edited to include some less-distressing content. Materials added to the letter are in brackets.):

[Dearest Aunt B.,]

When are you feminists going to start going bonkers over Alito being confirmed to the Supreme Court?

Can you feel your reproductive rights being taken away at this very moment?


A Gentleman Reader

p.s. I think you’re so cute when you’re mad. The thought of your brow furrowing in anger as you read this letter about sends me around the bend. I want to kiss you right now.]

Dear Gentleman Reader,

I’m sorry but there will be no smooches for you. Though I am righteously indignant at the thought that there exists only one Republican senator with the guts to vote against this man, I, like all other feminists, are resigned to the fact that he’s now on the Supreme Court.

Really, it’s another day another politician trying to stick his nose into my vagina (and not in the fun way).

Here’s what will happen. Folks will now rush to get some monumental abortion ruling before the court, the court will then make some decision that, on the surface, keeps Roe in place, but guts it. Abortion will fall back to the states and women in conservative states will lose their right to one.

It remains to be seen what kind of pressure is then brought on folks undergoing fertility treatments, many of which also create embryos which are never brought to term. Will they lose the ability to decide when and if they reproduce? I kind of doubt it. Much of the abortion debate is really about making sure slutty women are punished with children, not about making couples who really want kids miserable.

It’s all very interesting, and I’d love to be more outraged, but I’m busy making popcorn so that when it dawns on Republicans that they’ve thrown their support behind a man who thinks the Presidency is just like being king and what that means in terms of their own civil liberties, I can snack and laugh at the same time.

Really supporting Alito was like watching Republicans route around in a septic tank looking for stuff to throw at us–Alito just happened to be the biggest chunk–and a day will come when they’ll look down and realize that they’re covered in the same shit they tossed our way.

On that day, I will laugh, if I’m still allowed to laugh. (It’s hard to tell how far back women’s rights are going to get rolled.)


Your Dearest Aunt B.

I Smell GOOoood

Bless the Butcher’s heart. He doesn’t pick up after himself or have his own car or ever miss a chance to announce when he thinks he’s going to shit the bed, but the man has mad skills of picking out bath products.

When I buy things, I end up smelling, as I’ve said, like some kind of fuckable funeral arrangement.

When the Butcher buys things, I smell nice and clean and slightly lickable.

The Butcher is, as always, looking for a job.

In the past, I thought he should be an interior decorator, as he could spend all his time taking money from cuckolded rich men from Williamson County. They’d never suspect him as the cuckolder, since the stereotype of interior decorators is that they’re gay.

However, the Butcher hangs pictures too high. Even though he can fit furniture in the best possible configuration for any given room, having to look up to view your art is annoying.

So, now I’m thinking maybe he could be a personal shopper for these lonely Williamson County housewives. He’d make them smell good and he’d still have good cover for his crazy affairs.

Either David Boaz is an Idiot or He Thinks I’m an Idiot

So, I’ve made it up to Chapter Two in Libertarianism: A Primer and I can only conclude that either David Boaz is an idiot or he thinks his readers, of which I am one, are idiots.

Since he’s some bigwig at the Cato Institute* and I am your lowly blogger, I’m going to assume that I’m supposed to be the idiot here.

I’m just at the point where Boaz is claiming that libertarianism is the preferred way of getting along in the world. Preferred by whom?

By God.

Yes, in a real live book about a real live philosophical system, that is supposed to give me enough information to decide whether libertarianism is the right political framework for my thinking, number two on the reasons libertarianism rules (Number one: Because it’s better than socialism.) is “Because God Likes It Best.”

This? This is a reason to pick a philosophical system? Because some god somewhere made some passing reference to not liking kings? Well, shoot, one of my gods says “What does it hurt if a woman has a husband or a lover or both?” Shall I run out and acquire for myself a husband and some lovers just because some god said it wasn’t that big a deal? Even if it bothers my husband or my lover or both? Or shall I continue to assume that what gods do is their business and the arrangements people make between themselves are best left to be worked out among themselves?

Anyway, there’s something deeply, deeply funny about arguing for libertarianism–a political system based on severe individualism and self-determination–by saying “You should do it because God likes it.”

*It doesn’t have anything to do with this post, but this dude is with the Cato Institute as well and I’ve been totally digging on him since I found him. This is libertarianism a girl like me can take to bed in good conscience.