Cooter Talk

Tonight I went to an organizing meeting for The Vagina Monologues. That’s right, America, you spend enough time yakking about your cooter on the internet and eventually, someone’s going to ask you if you want to help out while other women talk about vaginas.

How could I say no?

The meeting started with an informal discussion of changing this year’s The Vagina Monologues to Brokeback Valley. This is funny for the nice yonic* imagery and because the director’s name is Vali. So, you get two laughs for the price of one.

However, since we already had the posters made, we’re sticking with The Vagina Monologues.

Then it descended into a bunch of us standing around Vali’s bathroom while she shot footage of us talking about our cooters.

The weirdest part? The chick from Martini Ministries was there.

Seriously. I blogged about her three days ago and Voila! she appears. Well, this is interesting, folks. Let’s talk about some good-hearted, smart, kind, witty man with delightful stubble and big broad shoulders and a fuzzy belly and sweet, soft kisses who’ll buy me dinner and fuck me so exquisitely the neighbors are embarrassed. Let’s see if such a man comes crawling out of the woodwork this week.

Oh, shoot. I’m late to go get the Butcher. Anyway–The Vagina Monologues. 9:30 p.m. February 25th at the Belcourt. $25. I hear there’ll be chocolate cooters. How can you resist chocolate cooters?

Mmm. Sweet, sweet cooters…

*Yep, yonic. I’m breaking out the high-faluting words on you now. Also, I stink. I’m sorry to the folks who had to sit next to me. I was the girl wearing her slippers and her pajamas with her overalls over them. It was just that kind of day. I took a shower and put my pajamas back on.

5 thoughts on “Cooter Talk

  1. So, wait. You’re performing in the Vagina Monologues?! Which character are you? Or did they just film footage of you talking about your vagina which they are going to play at a performance of the vagina monologues?

    My favorite line in that play? When they ask what your cooter smells like, someone’s reply is “snowflakes”.

  2. They shot footage to play there and I’m going to be in it. I don’t know what character. I just said I’d fill in wherever they needed me.

    It’s just insane. I’m so excited and so nervous.

  3. So is this the Music City-ized version where local celebrities trampise across the stage and talk about their cooters? How exciting. You qualify as a local celebrity. Aunt B., I’m so proud of you. You’ll stand side-by-side as Kathy Mattea and that reporter lady from News 2 talk about their period. I’ve always wondered about celebrity periods. I guess they bleed out the cooter like us normal folk. And by us, I don’t mean “us.” I only wish I had a vagina.

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